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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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hi...just started dating a man with BP...first episode...it

Customer Question

hi...just started dating a man with BP...first episode...it was a panic attack...his trigger was me saying or stating rather "I think it stresses you out"...whoops...it lasted about an hour and he calmed down then started again...I did not take it personally but I felt I could of been better...I was calm, not judgemental but I am sure anything I said made it worse...he also felt embarrassed because it was the first episode in front of me (well sort of...we were on video chat...it's a long distance relationship for now)...I said I can leave if you need to do this alone and that I am not going anywhere..to call me when you feel better and that I will check up on him tomorrow...did I do the right thing? any books to read about the best way to understand and cope with your partner's BP?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 4 years ago.

Hello.

It sonded like you acted very appropriately and that partner appears to be a rapid cycler. The recommendation is to be calm and non judgemental as negatively expressed emotion can definitely be a trigger. You offered him space which empowered him to choose what will make him more comfortable (I assume you are talking about Bipolar Disorder). Your reaction was textbook perfect and it is quite amazing that without any training you responded so appropriately. I am going to leave to links-one it on a phamphlet on living with some one with Bipolarity and the other is for NAMI an organization that is supportive of friends and relatives with mental Illness.

 

See: http://www.nami.org/

 

and http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=11223&cn=4

 

 

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

If you require further clarification or more information, feel free to ask!

Please click the green "ACCEPT" button on this page if you are satisfied with my answer so that I get credit for my work. Your positive feedback is most important and bonuses are always welcomed. If this is a mental health, or medical emergency, please call emergency services (911 in the USA), or go to your nearest Emergency Room. The opinion provided does not replace an evaluation by an appropriate professional. Use of this website DOES NOT CREATE a provider-client relation and this information is for educational purposes only.

 



Edited by Ralph LMHC on 11/2/2009 at 1:33 AM EST
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I have a background in social work...so I know to stay calm...is there a nami in canada? where do I go for more info...I just sent him a message saying I am doing research on how to better educate myself so I know what to do when this happens again...I do not believe this is a severe case however...I need to find out I guess by asking questions...anything in toronto canada i can go to?
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 4 years ago.

Hello,

 

I am not sure if there is a NAMI in Canada, but I am sure that if yo contact them , they will be able to refer yo. If you hold on I'll go down to the office and get the name of the book that I lend out to family of patients to read. One piece of advice and that is your sensitivity is excellent, but one thing that I hear from patients is 'that I just want to be treated normally", so do not over concentrate on his illness. Back right back withj the citation.

Sincerely,

 

Ralph LMHC

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
ummm...okay so back off the telling him i am researching and all that? i kind of sent the message already...is this going to push him farther? crap!!!!! what can I do? or what should I do when I speak with him again...they want to be treated as normal however my kind sir...this is an extraordinary situation...I am asking because I am spending 2 weeks again with him soon and I want to be able to have some tools to use...I will also be in a foreign country (england) where i am not familiar....i appreciate everything you are doing and would love the name of the book...do i just press accept?
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 4 years ago.

Don't worry you did not commit a sin-you just showed your concern. I would advise you just tone it down and deal with it when it comes up in the natural course of conversation. Again you did nothing wrong, but with him just keep it in perspective. I'm sure in anew relation there is a lot talk about and his illness will be one of them, but not the only. Yes if my answer was helpful just push the accept button.

 

 

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
okay...what is the name of the book? can i buy it at chapters?
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 4 years ago.

Darn,,

 

I sent you the Amazon citation, bt it appears to have disappeared got to back will return very shortly.

 

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

 

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
okay...will wait for the title of the book....
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 4 years ago.

Loving Some One with Bipolar Disorder Amazon Citation:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Julie/dp/1572243422/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257127802&sr=8-2

 

Bipolar Disorder a Guide for Patients and Families I have not read it, but I heatrd it was good.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disorder-Guide-Patients-Families/dp/0801883148/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257128016&sr=8-1

 

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 4 years ago.

Hope you got everything I sent and all works out well!

 

Sincerely,

Raalph LMHC

Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience: 20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
Ralph LMHC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
i do believe it will...he is an amazing guy...and I have strength...thank you for everything....
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 4 years ago.

Glad to assist!

Ralph LMHC

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
by the way...i am not female...thought i should let you know...but i am caring...how long do you think it will take for him to feel well enough to call me...lol...i figure i'll give space...pleasure was mine
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 4 years ago.

Sorry as it was insensitive of me to make a stereotypical assumption! It would be pure speculation on my part as I have no idea as to his history or patterns. Do you have any further information on the nature of his illness?

 

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

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