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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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I am pushing my boyfriend away.

Customer Question

I am pushing my boyfriend away.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Hello,

Is there a reason to push your boyfriend away? Is he abusive. Could you formulate your issue into a question so that I could give you an appropriate answer?

 

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
He is not an abusive. He is a very good boyfriend and I communicate with him a lot. He changes things according to our communications, to help me feel better about whatever situation.

I've always been this way with men. I push them away or become extremely jealous and start to hate my life when I'm in a relationship. I want to know how to be in a relationship and not hate myself.
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Hello,

It sounds like you have problems with intimacy and so to avoid confronting this issue you push him away. Then as a result of this behavior and I assume it has happened more than once you dislike yourself. I would suggest that first you dislike your behavior and not yourself as they are too different things and this just one aspect of your entire character. Unfortunately, it appears to be well established in your personality and to make such a major personality change will probably require professional help. In this case I would recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy where you learn ways of changing thinking and behaving and as a result you change your feelings about yourself. See

 

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/therapies/cognitivebehaviouraltherapy.aspx

 

You have every reason to believe that with appropriate help this will change for the better. I hope that this has proved useful information to you and wish yo the best.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I am not from the UK. Do you recommend a more holistic approach when seeking therapists for any reason? I do believe cognitive therapy is my best option as I am in school for pyschology myself (almost done) and it has always seemed the most senseful to me.
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Hello,

 

I am not in the UK either, it is just a good description. I too believe that a cognitive apoproach would be the most beneficial and it is the only one that is evidence based.

 

 

 

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

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