Thank you for your question and for contacting Just Answer. I’m sorry you are facing this very difficult situation. Unfortunately, when you have children with a sociopath, expect to be hassled. However, there are a couple of things you can do to minimize the effect and frequency of being hassled. As you children grow and mature which will result in changes in contact with their father the frequency of the hassle may also change.
Sociopathic parents can vary widely in how they express their sociopathic traits. In general, sociopaths are defined as having no empathy. They're driven only by their own needs wants and desires. Often they get a thrill out of the pain they inflict by the cons they pull off.
Every family situation is different. But if yours includes a sociopath, here are some things to keep in mind.
Many sociopaths appear to be outwardly respectable, and are therefore able to convince family courts that they should continue to have parental rights. Courts seem especially reluctant to accept that a parent may be a sociopath and is damaging to the child. Although it can be very expensive, if possible, seek expert legal representation that includes an expert mental health witness that will demonstrate the potential damage to your children if your ex-husband has unsupervised contact with your children or in extreme situations any contact. Sociopathic parents can be highly manipulative toward children to use them as a way of getting back at you. The level of damage can vary from neglect
to emotional, physical or sexual abuse (worse case). A qualified mental health professional, specialized in custody evaluations and expert knowledge of sociopathic parenting is your best tool to determine if your children are, or to what degree, in danger. Hiring the correct person is essential for the courts to understand the severity of the potential danger of contact or unsupervised contact.
For your own mental health, maintain “no contact” rule as best you can. Exchange the bare minimum of information about the child with your ex—preferably by e-mail. If you must deliver or pick up a child for visitation, have someone with you or ring the doorbell and then wait in the car. The sociopath will try to undermine and hurt you through the children. He will find a way to bait you so he can be harmful. The less contact you have, the better and less opportunity to take his bait.
Some other tips to consider…Never let the sociopath into your home for any reason. Do not give your ex any information about your life. Document everything that happens.
Again, I’m sorry you have to go through this at all. However, keep in mind that he will do whatever it take to wear you down which means you must persevere despite how manipulative he gets. I wish you and your family the very best. Good luck.