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Hi there ,
Welcome to Just answer !
Well, FIRST OF ALL ,IT IS MY HUMBLE REQUEST / PLEA TO YOU TO STOP THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE AND IMMEDIATELY SEEK HELP OF A Psychologist and sort out your issues . You are so young , you have so much life ahead of you , so please do not do anything like causng any self harm ,as what ever you are going through is very temporary , and it is going to pass , it is just that a lot of things have been going on in your life which has just emotionally overwhelmed you . Such kind of fights with loved ones OR PROFESSIONAL AND PERSONAL SETBACKS happen in every household , but it does not mean that one shold take such a drastic step .
Well, it seems that you have gone into depression , and such suicidal thoughts is a direct implication of your depressive phase , so trust me on this , just give up completely on this very bad idea of causing self harm , and just get your self started on psychotherapy , that is counseling in lay terms , from a psychologist , as you need professional intervention to sort out your issues , and once you get over depression , you will yourself realize that what a bad thought it was . You may also ask your family doctor to start you on an anti depressant such as paxil or effexor , along with continiuing psychotherapy from a psychologist , and i am quite sure that once you get started on the combination of anti depressant and psychotherapy , you will get out of your depressive phase , which is actually preventing you from thinking with logic /objectivity and making you all this angry,irritable and feeling hopeless and helpless.
So , again it is my request to not to contemplate suicide / self harm as it is NOT AN OPTION . Please call up emergency if you find yourself too ovrwhelmed to stop yourself from doing any such thing .
I hope this helps...
Please take care , and hope everything works out well for you.
You see that is what is called as clouding of objectivity , and this is another feature of depression where in person feels extremely low , self critical and has lots of negative thoughts such as predicitng one's own fate before hand .
You need to realize one thing that , it is never too late to start new things in life , do not think of the future as no one can predict what is in store for each one of us , just try to correct your present by learning from past mistakes , so that you do not commit them again , and this will make everything fall into place . This is te time to realize your limitations and as well as things in which you are good at , then try to work on your limitations and exploit your potential and good points to the maximum , and you will see that you will gain a lot success and happiness in life .
So, just do not belittle yourself ,as you must be having some qualities which are appreciable , so what you need to do is to find out those qualities and just exploit them for your benefit . Always remember , when one door closes , there is always another door that opens , meaning that everyone gets lots of opportunties in life , it is upto us to notice them and use them to our benefit .
I hope this helps..So, as of now , just stop thinking about suicide , and seek counseling as soon as possible , and also start introspecting , and try to learn through it , the good and positive points which are there in you , which you can expoit , and become a success in future .
I wish you all the best... God bless..