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Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3995
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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My son is divorced and custodial parent of his 4-year old

Resolved Question:

My son is divorced and custodial parent of his 4-year old son. The child is at risk for ADHD and has been ordered to have less stress in his life. His mother has started calling and
texting several times a day, asking the child questions and then yelling and screaming at my son threatening to "take him back to court" if he does not follow her instructions. This little
boy knows the drill. He answers his mom's questions and then she yells at his dad the way
she has always done. I have listened to her phone calls at my son's request. I don't know
why they should have to put up with this constant harassment. When she is not calling, she
is texting and demanding. She is in the Air Force and her behavior is totally unprofessional.
How can my son make her STOP. He is trying to help his son heal from a very bad divorce
situation. is there a way they can refuse to take her calls????? They have just completed
summer visits and this little boy has no idea where he lives or belongs!!
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 4 years ago.

Hi there ,

 

Welcome to Just answer !

 

Well, it indeed is a confusing and harrowing phase for your grandson, he has to put up with all these traumatic experiences at the tender age of 4 years , and i agree with you that such kind of stress at such a young age can not only put him at risk of ADHD , but also, can effect his overall personality .

 

However , avoiding or shutting up his mother is not the option here , as she after all is his mother and has the right to call him and talk to him as per her discretion , so , now by going against her directly , or snubbing her by confronting her , would flare up the situation more , and the child will bear the brunt of this fall out ,the most .

 

So, the solution of this serious predicament is that , you can ask your son to arrange a meeting with his ex wife , and have an honest but calm talk with her , explaining her the risk that her behaviour poses to your grandson becoming an ADHD patient , if she complies , then he can also ask her to meet with the child's doctor who has described him as a high risk to ADHD , owing to the stress that she has been lashing on to them regularly . Well, basically , here your son has to find a common path to buy some peace for himself and his son , from his estranged and bitter wife , who at the moment is feeling agonised after loosing her child custody , so it will be better for both of them if they can find out a common ground to settle this issue once and for all , for the sake of the kid's mental health and future , and if the need arises , there is also an option for both of them to seek counseling help from a psychologist to solve this whole issue and to curb the ex wife's intrusive and demanding ways .

 

So, just ask your son , to not to buckle under pressure of his ex wife , and also not to become aggressive in his talks with her , as all this will make matters worse , so what is required right now , is that he treads the path very subtly , and make an offer of compromise to his ex for the sake of the child's health , and i believe , when it comes to the health of a child , no mother would want to effect her child's health at the expense of her ego .

 

So, kindly discuss this with your son..

 

I hope this helps..

 

I wish you all the best ...

 

I hope every thing works out for your son and for his little angel and finally your son and his ex- wife reach a common ground of peaceful co-existence for the sake of the innocent kid.

 

Please press the ACCEPT button if you are satisfied with the answer as only then will i be credited for my service.

 

Regards..

Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3995
Experience: MD Psychiatry
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