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Hi there ,
Welcome to Just answer !
Well, it indeed is a confusing and harrowing phase for your grandson, he has to put up with all these traumatic experiences at the tender age of 4 years , and i agree with you that such kind of stress at such a young age can not only put him at risk of ADHD , but also, can effect his overall personality .
However , avoiding or shutting up his mother is not the option here , as she after all is his mother and has the right to call him and talk to him as per her discretion , so , now by going against her directly , or snubbing her by confronting her , would flare up the situation more , and the child will bear the brunt of this fall out ,the most .
So, the solution of this serious predicament is that , you can ask your son to arrange a meeting with his ex wife , and have an honest but calm talk with her , explaining her the risk that her behaviour poses to your grandson becoming an ADHD patient , if she complies , then he can also ask her to meet with the child's doctor who has described him as a high risk to ADHD , owing to the stress that she has been lashing on to them regularly . Well, basically , here your son has to find a common path to buy some peace for himself and his son , from his estranged and bitter wife , who at the moment is feeling agonised after loosing her child custody , so it will be better for both of them if they can find out a common ground to settle this issue once and for all , for the sake of the kid's mental health and future , and if the need arises , there is also an option for both of them to seek counseling help from a psychologist to solve this whole issue and to curb the ex wife's intrusive and demanding ways .
So, just ask your son , to not to buckle under pressure of his ex wife , and also not to become aggressive in his talks with her , as all this will make matters worse , so what is required right now , is that he treads the path very subtly , and make an offer of compromise to his ex for the sake of the child's health , and i believe , when it comes to the health of a child , no mother would want to effect her child's health at the expense of her ego .
So, kindly discuss this with your son..
I hope this helps..
I wish you all the best ...
I hope every thing works out for your son and for his little angel and finally your son and his ex- wife reach a common ground of peaceful co-existence for the sake of the innocent kid.
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