How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Norman M. Your Own Question

Norman M.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2567
Experience:  ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
14727623
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Norman M. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

We just discovered that my 14 yo stepson has been experimenting

Resolved Question:

We just discovered that my 14 yo stepson has been experimenting with wearing his mother's pantyhose and, most recently, tried out our daughter's bathing suit bottoms. Is this a normal path for a boy to try to figure out his sexuality at this age? He is now very embarressed about the whole episode...
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Norman M. replied 5 years ago.
Hello WorriedMom - thanks for visiting.

As you say, cross dressing of this type is a common enough way of exploring youthful sexuality. Womens’ underclothing can be ‘mysterious’ and therefore exciting, and that can be part of the cause.

It is usually linked to the pleasure of masturbation, and if the person becomes to fixated on it, it can cause failure of an appropriate sexual response to the opposite gender in later life in the absence of the desired clothing.

It is not, however, a sign of latent homosexuality.

Part of your son’s unwillingness to discuss this will stem from the fact that he does not want to be thought of as a ‘sissy’ (a teenage boy’s ultimate nightmare!) and because of a likely link to masturbation. Keep working at keeping communication open, and try to treat it lightly.

In general, it is regarded as harmless, and tends to disappear as sexual issues get sorted out, but if it continues into late adolescence, you might wish to have him evaluated by a psychiatrist.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you Norman! I had thought that may be the case. My stepson has had other behaviors arise in the last year that we are also concerned about but I don't think they are related to this latest discovery of ours. In the past year he has attempted to pawn his mother's jewelry using one of the 1-800 gold services (we figured out that he was mad because he didn't have any money and we wouldn't give him any without earning it - spent his stash) as well as taking a steak knife and making marks in the drywall in the hallway (my husband believes he was acting out of frustration because his parents have clamped down on his behavior). He is left alone on a regular basis at his mother's house after school during the week and all day during several summer vacation weeks. My husband is also monitoring his internet access and we have found he has clicked on some rather unsavory sites that show soft porn that were linked to anime sites he visits (he is very into japanese cartoons). Both of them are at a loss as to how to proceed from here....are all these incidents isolated? Or are they connected?
Expert:  Norman M. replied 5 years ago.
I'm sorry to say that I think that this young man has some behavioral problems which may require professional attention.. I'm more concerned about the knife damage and attempts to steal (for that is what it was) his mother's jewelry.

The soft porn issue - to be honest, the biggest users of soft porn are teenage boys. Most sites are aimed directly at them.

I am also concerned that he is left alone so much. Really, this needs to be addressed too.

I do believe that he should have an evaluation from a child psychologist if his behavior does not improve significantly. It might help if you explored with him what his boundaries are, and how he feels about that.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2567
Experience: ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
Norman M. and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Norman M.
Norman M.
Partner in private practice
2246 Satisfied Customers
ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.