Hi there ,
Welcome to Just answer !
Well, first of all , you should get the thoughts of suicide out of your mind immediately , as it is not a solution for anything . Yes , i agree that you have had a string of bad life experiences , which has made your position difficult in the present scenario , you may consider it a trick of fate or something like that , but i believe that you need to stand up again on your feet and start afresh , i tell you that everybody in life gets ample of opprtunities , and you are young , i am very sure that for you also opportunities are waiting in abundance , you just have to hang in there for sometime , and let this bad phase pass by , and just wait for a chance to come your way.
As far as your current application is concerned , i think you need not make any presumptions before hand , and just wait for the result from the employer , it is no good to feel dejected without knowing the result , and if god forbid it does not work out this time , then do not loose heart , and try again , while also , coming out clean this time around , and accepting your past history in front of the employer , such kind of honesty will be appreciated for sure , as it is rare in current times , and will do the trick , and get you a job.
And i feel because of the traumatic past events which have been bearing on your mind , i believe you have gone into depression , and suicidal thoughts and negative thoughts are the hallmark features of it , so i will suggest that you ask your family physician to start you on 1 anti depressant such as either Paxil CR or Effexor XR or prozac , any one of these anti depressants need to be started , and the dose of the chosen anti depressant is to be decided by your doctor .
I suggest that you get started on this regime as soon as possible , as this will not only put off your suicidal and negative thoughts that preoccupy your mind , but , also once your depressed mood is treated , it will make you feel fresh and rejuvenated again , and for big leaps and successful planning of a future career move ,you need a fresh and healthy mind , but not a depressed one.
So, kindly get your self prescribed any one of the mentioned anti depressant from your doctor / psychiatrist , and continue it for a 2-3 monhs time , and i am quite sure that you will come out of depression and this will definiteely give a boost to your career as well as quality of life.
I hope this helps..
I wish you all the best for your result..God bless..
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I agree with the above comments. I am going to make the appointment with my doctor for later today. I am bothered that this is more serious, perhaps a mild form of bi-polar disorder.
For my job application I have stated the truth about who I have worked for in the past. They reserve the right to contact previous employers. I am very bothered about what they will say about me. How can I go forward from this?
Well, it does not look like a bipolar disorder , as your complaints do not signify any manic or hypomanic episodes so far , which in itself rules out this diagnosis of Bipolar disorder in which mania and depression alternate with each other .
So, relax and follow the above mentioned suggestion , and get started on an anti depressant .
Now , as far as your concern about what will happen about your interview , well i can say that since you have been honest in your approach , so it does not really matter if they ( employers ) do or do not contact your previous employers , as they definitely would want to hire someone who is honest and deserving the way you are , and just do not dwell on your past too much , just take this interview as any other interview and keep on trying till you achieve your goal of getting a good job , i am sure there is plenty of jobs for hardworing people like you , but just do not be so much conscious about your past , as you know it becomes obvious to the onlooker or interviewer that you are apprehensive about divulging on your past jobs , and this gives them unnecessary ideas , so just be confident , and face your interviews without taking any past baggage ( emotional ) along with you.
I hope this helps...