Hi there ,
Welcome to Just answer !
Well, first of all , you should get the thoughts of suicide out of your mind immediately , as it is not a solution for anything . Yes , i agree that you have had a string of bad life experiences , which has made your position difficult in the present scenario , you may consider it a trick of fate or something like that , but i believe that you need to stand up again on your feet and start afresh , i tell you that everybody in life gets ample of opprtunities , and you are young , i am very sure that for you also opportunities are waiting in abundance , you just have to hang in there for sometime , and let this bad phase pass by , and just wait for a chance to come your way.
As far as your current application is concerned , i think you need not make any presumptions before hand , and just wait for the result from the employer , it is no good to feel dejected without knowing the result , and if god forbid it does not work out this time , then do not loose heart , and try again , while also , coming out clean this time around , and accepting your past history in front of the employer , such kind of honesty will be appreciated for sure , as it is rare in current times , and will do the trick , and get you a job.
And i feel because of the traumatic past events which have been bearing on your mind , i believe you have gone into depression , and suicidal thoughts and negative thoughts are the hallmark features of it , so i will suggest that you ask your family physician to start you on 1 anti depressant such as either Paxil CR or Effexor XR or prozac , any one of these anti depressants need to be started , and the dose of the chosen anti depressant is to be decided by your doctor .
I suggest that you get started on this regime as soon as possible , as this will not only put off your suicidal and negative thoughts that preoccupy your mind , but , also once your depressed mood is treated , it will make you feel fresh and rejuvenated again , and for big leaps and successful planning of a future career move ,you need a fresh and healthy mind , but not a depressed one.
So, kindly get your self prescribed any one of the mentioned anti depressant from your doctor / psychiatrist , and continue it for a 2-3 monhs time , and i am quite sure that you will come out of depression and this will definiteely give a boost to your career as well as quality of life.
I hope this helps..
I wish you all the best for your result..God bless..
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