I've looked at my colleagues answer to your question, and I appreciate her view. However, I have a slightly different take on this.
I am inclined to think that you are suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, for the following reasons:
1. OCD is characterised by frequent intrusive thoughts and fantasises which often involve themes of a violent, or sometimes sexual nature. Usually, OCD sufferers do no (and do not really wish to) enact these thoughts in reality. The very existence of the thoughts in itself generates anxiety - as if your ability to concentrate is being taken away –
and the contents of the thoughts generate a similar response.
2. Very often, the sufferer tries to compensate for, or deal with the anxiety by carrying out compulsive behaviours – cleaning or tuning an instrument, perhaps, or obsessive practice fit well here.
Cogitive Behavioural Therapy is effective in helping control OCD, and can be used in conjunction with mediciation. Indeed, the use of the two together can be much more effective than either on their own.
Please have alook at this website:
Please have a word with your medics.