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Nancy
Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience:  ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
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I feel like I have nothing to live for. Everything and everyone

Resolved Question:

I feel like I have nothing to live for. Everything and everyone I've ever known and cared for has gone away from me. What do I do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.
Hi,

I am Nancy and I would like to talk to you about this. Can you tell me what's happened?

Nancy
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I'm a 23 year old college senior. I've had a life plan for the last 10 yrs, that was only altered positively with the addition of a beautiful girl I planned to marry. I lost my dream job, can't find a backup. My gf dumped 2 months ago because there was no passion in the relationship. We still talk almost every day, but she is sleeping with someone else. She calls me her best friend and says there may be some day when we can get back together. My parents no longer feel like they can trust me, and nearly kicked me from the house this summer in between semesters. My friends only hang out with me when I call first. I have never felt so alone in my life, and I spent most of my childhood at home without friends to begin with. I don't know what to do. I live alone and spend most of my time drinking, chewing tobacco, and watching TV on the couch.
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.
Hi,

Thanks for sharing all of that with me.

I am so sorry about your job - I know that can be really difficult to deal with - but is it possible that some other company offer the same kind of job?

Why do your parents think they can't trust you?

And, are you back at college now? Do they have a counseling center where you can go and talk with someone. Sometimes colleges have group counseling - which is really, really helpful when we are sort of getting the message that we aren't liked a lot - and feel alone. We can get honest feedback from other people as to what we are doing that we don't see.

Would you consider that?

Nancy
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

The job was an Air Force pilot. I was medically disenrolled from ROTC 1.5 yrs ago, and I can't get into another service.

 

As far as my parents, I don't know. For the first time, I opened up to them about my ex after we broke up. When they found out that she and I had talked about 2 wks after the break-up, there was a dramatic change in their behavior. They questioned everything I did, everyone I saw, and everywhere I went. My father and I didn't speak for almost two months. Two weeks ago, my mother told me I was breaking the family up and causing irreparable harm.

 

I am back at college now, but the counseling services on campus keep putting me on a two week waiting period. Also, because I'm in college, I pay for everything myself and don't have the money to seek other help.

 

I don't know where else to turn. I'm serious when I say, that whenever I talk openly to one of my friends, they pretty much stop speaking to me. The only person I have had multiple serious conversations with is my ex, which doesn't help me very much.

Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.
Hi,

You can wait the two weeks. I know it will be difficult but you can do it.

What was the diagnosis that got you a medical disenrollment?

Nancy
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

The diagnosis was dermatitis. It was BS, because I've seen two other dermatologists since then. I've explained the situation, showed them the sight, and had both of them declare that it's more than likely not dermatitis. The original diagnosing doctor refuses to recant his decision, and says he feels threatened by possible litigation if he recants.

 

The problem with the two weeks is that it continually shifts. Unless I'm pregnant (impossible because I'm male), have H1N1 or suicidal, the health center on campus really has no desire to see me for free treatment.

Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.
Dermatitus is a treatable disorder and in no way impairs your ability to perform the job duties of Pilot. You might want to check into who you can speak with about this - I have worked with millitary families for the past 10 years and know a lot of servicemen with a lot worse! So, don't give up on that.

Your college health center may be innundated with sick people - but they WILL see you. Do you know who the counselors are? Can you speak with them directly? Or is there a central appointment place where you can ask for the next available appointment - they probably have some cancellations.

Nancy
Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience: ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
Nancy and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

The thing about the dermatitis is that though it's treatable, the Dept of Defense has deemed it a nondeployable issue, meaning I cannot deploy outside of the United States. I've talked to brass all the way up to generals with multiple services, and have had senators and congressmen ask for me. No dice.

 

There is only a central appointment center that can be spoken to, and they are the ones giving me the run-around.

 

I just feel like no one cares.

Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.
Did you tell the appointment center that you want the next available appointment with a counselor?

Nancy
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Yes, that's where the two week policy comes into play. There's an initial phone interview, and then a scheduling session. I've done the phone interview.
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.
Okay, good! You are in their system! And that's important.

In the meatine, you can come here anytime - and talk to any one of the cousnelors.

You can seek out some online support groups.

And just take everything one day at a time. I promise, all of this will pass and you will go on to find a new job - and find happiness again.

Nancy
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thanks for the help, Nancy. I appreciate talking with you. Any advice about what to do with the ex?
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.
I wouldn't do anything differently right now. Don't make any decisions or do anything differently. She will still be there when you have had a chance to speak with someone in person and decide what you want to do.

Nancy :-)
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thanks again, Nancy.

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