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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1699
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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for Dr.Keane im sorry my english is not so wall , olso pleas

Customer Question

for Dr.Keane im sorry my english is not so wall , olso pleas make this question privat . how can a family sport a member with Schizoid personality disorder? he have a good paying job and he stend up late some times , is this any thing about the spd ? and what shud we do in the mean time? what can i do about his job he shud not lose it? and did you think he will be able to marrey??? how can we make him have more intrest in the famaly and in our raligan? and pleas if you can tell me what is the must importend messege he shud gat from all the sapportive men around him who wants to help him , WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTEND MESSEGE WE CAN GIVE HIM to help him ????????????????????
we send him for thrapy but he is not keeping on going becous he dont thing he have a problem , he is 17 , he is a nice and smart boy, we gave him a lot of spport and love.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 5 years ago.
Hi David and welcome,

I sense your frustration in wanting to help this young man. The best thing you can do for him is to accept that this is who he is. The basic problem in getting support and help for this disorder is that this young man does not see any reason for getting help. He is okay with himself. Long term therapy won't work but you can suggest to him that when he has a problem, short term, solution focused therapy can help. Don't push him into believing he "needs" therapy. Let him know it's available if he needs to solve a problem. He can then see a therapist short term and terminate therapy.
<br />Right now you are doing exactly the right thing, you and the other men in his life are being supportive. Which brings us to you. You are upset and it sounds like you feel helpless over his situation. You would benefit from seeing a therapist or finding a support group for people who have a person with Schizoid Personality disorder in their lives. Having to live with, deal with and want for someone you love who is suffering (not in his mind though) with this diagnoisis is not only hard to accept, it's hard to understand (especially since he is smart). Therapy and/or a support group will be helpful to you in a way that can translate to helping him the best you can. I hope this is helpful and answered your question. I am here for follow up anytime.
PS. Your english is fine.
Dr. Keane
Please click accept when you are satisfied and leave feedback. I am available for follow-up
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

i see you are talking about accepting , but i need more detals about spd , and about the 7 things i want to know,1 how can a family sport a member with Schizoid personality disorder? 2 he have a good paying job and he stend up late some times , is this any thing about the spd ? 3 what can i do about his job he shud not lose it? 4 and did you think he will be able to marrey??? 5 how can we make him have more intrest in the famaly 6 and in our raligan? 7 and pleas if you can tell me what is the must importend messege he shud gat from all the sapportive men around him who wants to help him , WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTEND MESSEGE WE CAN GIVE HIM to help him ????????????????????

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 5 years ago.
Hi,
I am happy to give you more details about SPD and answers/opinions to your questions.
1. Support a family member with SPD
As I say previously you are doing the right thing by letting him know you love him and are there for him unconditionally. In order to do so you may want to find a support group for family members. Meeting with others who share the same experiences with their family members may help reassure you that what you are doing is the only and best way to help him. Support groups also area a good resource for sharing ideas that my be helpful. There is no one thing you can do aside from what you are doing to let him know you are there for him.
2.Being late for his job/3. not losing his job,
Does he have a reason for being late? Is he employed in a solitary setting? Are there many people around. People with SPD prefer to work alone. His job may seem like a "good job" but is it a "good fit" for him. All you can do short of taking him to work everyday is to make sure the job has a minimum interaction, a place where he can go, get his work done, leave and have the least amount of interaction with others.
4. There are people who are married who have SPD. So to answer your question Yes people with SPD do marry but do not form close intimate relationships with their partners and are not very active sexually. 5. Family and Religious interests.
People with SPD are introverted and so preoccupied with their inner selves that they exclude others. You can insist he be more involved in family matters but he may just be there physically and totally involved with his own thoughts to the degree that he may not even be aware of what is going on. Attempts to communicate or include him in family or religious matters may confuse him and he may withdraw even more. You cannot make him become more involved.
6. Support
The more people who are involved in trying to help him will only push him further into himself. If there is one person he is able to tolerate you can try to let him develop a trusting relationship.
You can said anything you want to communicate your desire to help him and be there for him but you understand that he is indifferent to words from others, This is a very difficult disorder to treat. There is no medication that is recommended. There are no concrete answers to your request. There are only suggestions that may help.
If you google SPD there are many articles, information and web sites devoted to this disorder to help you further.
I hope this helps.
Dr. Keane
I am available for follow-up. When you are satisfied please click accept and leave feedback.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

thanks sownd very smart , now he is he employed in a solitary setting, but stil stay up late some times , what shud we do to help him? which therapy is good for spd , cbt or psychoanalasass , or any thing als ? it looks like he dosent like complemants , shud we stil give it for him? he came home late every night and his mama got sick from this , she asket him 100 times nicely and it not helpes, what shud we do ? is this any thing to do with the spd?

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 5 years ago.
Hi
I believe an expert or two has answered these questions for you before. When a person asks the same thing over and over as you have done here at this site you may need more help than we can offier. If there is a psychiatrist involved with the family member with SPD, I suggest you ask for some help too.
All your questions have been answered.
Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1699
Experience: Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
Dr. Keane and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
it looks like he dosent like complemants , shud we stil give it for him?
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 5 years ago.
Hi . you can give him complements if it makes you feel better. As for him, he doesn't care one way or the other. I would suggest you stop focusing on him for awhile and take care of you and the rest of your family. His disorder is draining to say the least and the more you focus on trying to help the more he will pull away.
I understand when it's your child you will worry, part of being a parent. Offer him the help and advice you were given here today and on previous days by other experts. If that doesn't work you will have to accept the fact that he is SPD, and as such, will live up to the behaviors that are described in the symptoms. If you haven't as yet, get some books and read up on SPD, look for a support group for YOU. You cannot go on reasking and reasking the same questions, you aren't going to get any of the answers that you wish you could hear. There is no one on this site or anywhere that can make him change. He is who he is. I wish you the best of luck.
Dr. Keane
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
thanks sownd very smart , now he is he employed in a solitary setting, but stil stay up late some times , what shud we do to help him?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

sorrey sorrey , my feedback is by a mistack , i want to leave that for some 1 als, help me out , i want to leave posative feedback becuse you are so helpful and posative , lat me know what i can do.

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 5 years ago.
David,
The feedback you left was fine, don't worry about it...what I would like you to do is seek some help for your family. Find a therapist in your area that can work with your family and has experience with SPD. Since your entire family is affected in one way or another, and there are feelings of helplessness in terms of "doing something" for him , you really need outside help on a regular basis or at least until you are comfortable with him being who he is. Ask around your community, your physician even and ask if they know anyone. We are pretty limited on this site and are here to answer questions which we have done that for you. I wish you the best and hope you find someone to help you move forward.
Dr. Keane
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

ok thank youvery much

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