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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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THE MARREID MAN WHOM IM HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH , GIVES ME SO

Customer Question

THE MARREID MAN WHOM I'M HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH , GIVES ME SO MUCH MORE THAN MY HUSBAND DOES...... I WOULD LIKE MORE, BUT I DONT WANT TO SCARE HIM OFF... THE CONSESUS OF MY LIFE SAYS TO LEAVE MY HUSBAND , BECAUSE , BASICALLY IF IT WERENT FOR ME , NOTHING WOULD GET DONE, HE DOSNT DO ANYTHING . HE TELLS ME OUR PROBLEMS ARE ALL BECAUSE OF ME , BECAUSE IM MENTALLY ILL, AND WHEN I GET DEPRESSED, THE CARDS FALL ,AND IM DOWN FOR THE COUNT, IT'S PRETTY BAD, WHERE I JUST CRY, SHAKE , AND CANT DO ANYTHING . AND I FEEL LIKE AN EPISODE IS COMIMING ON , AND I THINK MY ACTIVITY LAST NIGHT IS A BIG CONTRIBUTOR TO IT.... PLEASE I KNOW IM WRITTING A LOT , BUT I CANT TELL ANYONE WHAT IVE DONE . ITS BETTER TO TELL A STRANGER ON LINE ABOUT MY LIFE, THAN ANYONE ELSE RIGHT NOW ... THANKS !!!
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Hello, I certainly as you indicated do not sit in judgement. However if you leave your husband it is because you have made a very considered opinion. You should not leave him for what could be a transiitional relation. I would also consider a brief thing of counseling with a marriage therapist. An excellent source of referral is the American Association of Marriage and family THERAPIST IN Washington DC, or www.aamft,org. If you have found this answer helpful please press the green button so I know it is helpful and I will be compensated. Also feedback is always appreciated.

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

PS I will be offline for the next 30 minutes or so and will then be back.

Ralph LMHC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
OK BUT , THE THERIPIST WHO IVE BEEN SEEING TOLD ME THAT THE ONLY WAY IT WILL OR CAN WORK WITH MY HUSBAND IS IF WE BOTH GO TO COUPLES THERAPY, IVE TOLD HIM THIS AND HE TOTALLY REFUESES TO GO WITH ME , I TELL HIM MY PROBLEMS, I TELL HIM THAT I MENTALLY DONT FEEL WELL, AND THAT I FEEL AN DEPRESSIVE EPISODE IS COMMING, HE DOESNT WANT TO HEAR IT . AND HE TOLD ME THAT WHEN I HAVE DEPRESSIVE EPISODES, IT PUSHES HIM AWAY .. I THINK THAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR A WHILE , EVEN BEFORE THIS AFFAIR STARTED, TO MAKE IT WORK WITH MY HUSBAND . AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TRIED AGAIN AND AGAIN WITH MY HUSBAND TO MAKE IT WORK , BUT FOR THE LAST FEW MONTHS, I GET NOTHING FROM MY HUSBAND I.E. EMOTIONALL SUPPORT, SEX, DATE NIGHTS, JUST EVERYTHING ... I THINK ITS RUN IT COURSE
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

He does not emotional needs. He does not respond to your requests for help with your emotional prolems. He is certainly not there when you need assistance, rather he pushes you away. You said you tried, but there is no reciprocity. i said don't leave for a transitional relation. But this doesn't sound like the case. When you think about leaving or ending a relation you list the positives and negatives and then decide. I listed all the negatives, but have not heard one positive. The answer seems obvious, but it is not easy . If you decide to leave do it steps-make the decision, make the arrangements, and then JUST DO IT. If you believe that all the information that I have provided then please push the green button to acknlowedge the help and so I can be paid. Of course feedback is always welcomed.

 

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

Ralph LMHC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Thank you and good luck. Remember once you decide, it will becomes earlier.

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I HOPE SO , I HONESTLY FEEL LIKE IF I DO ACTUALLY LEAVE MY HUSBAND, THAT WILL ALLEVIATE A LOT OF STRESS . AND THEREFORE , I MIGHT NOT GO LOOKING FOR SUBSITUTIONS IN OTHER PEOPLE OR THINGS THAT I AM MISSING FROM HIM .
THANK YOU
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Truly, best wishes and good luck!

Ralph LMHC