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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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Me and my boyfriend just broke on and Im pregnant and he has

Customer Question

Me and my boyfriend just broke on and I'm pregnant and he has move on to someone else already but I can't seem to move on it's very hard for me what should I do?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

I suggest that you take care of practical matters first. Have you decided to have the baby? Assuming you have, has he agreed to child support? Are you getting proper prenatal care? Are you eating properly? Have you mobilized your support system of friends and family? Is there one? Are you going for low cost ability to pay counseling?

 

 

Sincerely,

Ralph Atlas LMHC

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I have no choice but to keep the baby I'm going on 6months I have thought about hurting myself from time to time. He keeps telling me that I have his support and that he is going to be there for the baby but I can't get the fact that he has moved on so fast and this gurl that he is with has his head gone. I don't hardly talk to him I try to ask him to spend time wit me because I'm very lonely and emotional but he never has time for me. I can't eat I can't sleep the doctor has me on pills to help keep me calm but that doesn't help. I don't know what to do I gave my heart to this man I have no one else to talk to or get help from
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

If you are taking care of the practical matters including his acknowledgement of paternity. Then you must address your emotional needs through the use of counseling (medication is essentially ruled out if you are pregnant. Don't forget by being pregnant you are also going through a hormonal cyclone at the same time you are excperiencing this loss. It has een my experience that men tend to move on from relations quicker than woman. You real;ly have not given yourself enough time, but you do have to mourn the ending of this relationship and counseling will help ypu with this as well as other adjustment issues. If you have found this information helpful i will know by your pressing the green button and qalso be compensated, And feedback is always appreciated. Please do the other things I suggested:getting proper prenatal care,eating properly, and mobilized your support system of friends and family. Lastly, I stress again the need to go for ability to pay counseling.

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I know I need counseling but I don't have that kind of money and I know I have to mourn but how much I cry myself to sleep every night and I know I'm putting alot of stress on my child but I can't help it do I just need to leave him alone completely because he always say he's going to do this and that and I fall for it and it never happens I need to know how to let him go I can't move on I feel like I can't be without him he has my heart
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Last first, he has not proved himself dependable and so to depend upon him is setting yourself up for a "bigger hurt" Respect yourself and do not allow yourself to be used. Don't blame yourself for putting stress on your baby. I meant being pregnant puts a lot of stress on you.Yes other than the fact that you will be the parents of a child you share, you should not count on him for anything emotional. How do you let him go,by doing so, respecting yourself, not falling for his traps, and getting emotional help in counseling It is imperative that yopu get prenatal care for the baby and they will be able to help you get counseling for yourself. This is easier for me to say than for you to do. But you have no choice. Give him up, take care of your child and get help for yourself!

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Is there any further information that I can provide you with?

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

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