I always thought he was passive aggressive in other things. But I thought this birthday behavior was transferance due to his demanding selfcentered mother. She always had large birthday parties and mothers day was her day (even when she had daughter in-laws with small children).

Reading word slinger I see the difference. He does call me demanding and frequently hard to deal with. He makes comments frequently about me being hard to deal with. On my birthday I asked him if he loved me and he said, " You are very hard to like, I don't know what you want me to say." Then that night he gives me a card that says "I love you" I told him that wasn't enough and you can'tsy one thing and then buy a card to make it better.

I have read up on Passive agressive behavior and he falls into many of the traits. Not just my birthday and mothers day, this year he stepped it up with "forgetting" Valentines Day. He also is the only one to get a new car-the last one he "gave me" the one car to drive and then got rid of the junky van for a newer nicer model. Of course he drives the newer nicer van.

The thing is I am extremely sad to the point of depression and I can't shake it this time. I am doing great at work as long as I stay focused on the job and the work there. Once alone or at home I am full of sadness and lonely. I have lost most of my friends over the years and I can't talk to the children about this.

I have invested most of my adult life to this relationship and now have two collage tuitions to pay with one more coming up. I can't afford a divorce because I will end up with nothing and have to pay for school and support myself and the younger child. He will do that to me.   I can't feel better this time-it feels like morning to me-something died this time and I can't make it better.

I often think maybe he will fix this but I know better and I know that he has already determined that I don't deserve anything for being 50. He has said as much.

I just don't want to be sad anymore.