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Nancy
Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience:  ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
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I need to understand if this situation sounds like something

Customer Question

I need to understand if this situation sounds like something a bipolar person would do. It has been driving me crazy and I am depressed about it. Please help me.

I dated someone for five months. He was wonderful to me: kind, polite, intelligent etc.

Then one evening, because I was upset about his having a girl sleeping over at his house (who he claimed was too drunk to drive home/he had picked her up at a party, and let her come over to sleep at his place), he called me an idiot and stupid for calling him and going over. I was devastated. I had left my marriage for him. He had said he wanted my honesty and my love. Then the following day I went over to try to talk things over and he proceeded to call the police when I showed up at his door. Since then he hasn't wanted to communicate with me. He had taXXXXX XXXXXthium and electroconvulsive shock therapy for depression. He visits a mental health clinic regularly also. Does it sound like the action that a bipolar person in a rage might do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

Hi,

 

Thanks so much for writing.

 

I suspect that you think this was overly-impulsive on his part - and that constitutes Bipolar. Is that right?

 

His behavior alone doesn't necessarily indicate Bipolar, but what proves he is bipolar is the fact that he has been prescribed Lithium.

 

Does that help?

 

Nancy

Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience: ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
Nancy and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hi,

Yes, I guess the lithium is a key to the fact that he has bipolar disorder.

What I really want to understand is this: "Could the bipolar disorder be responsible for his

sudden shift from loving me to hating me, which happened in the span of a day? I mean, this is the guy that was calling me two, three, even nine times a day. Now, I haven't heard from him in months. If it is the bipolar disorder, is there a chance that he might come back around to the way he used to feel about me? How long does mania or depression last? I don't know if he's manic or depressed. All I know is that he is mostly always at home alone and that he's not seeing anyone. He goes to a local pub often and spends the whole afternoon there, then he goes home, alone for the rest of the evening. I feel so sorry for him. I wish I could help him, but he won't even speak to me.
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

Hi,

 

If he's unmedicated - that's a slight possibility, but moreover, it's about something else.

 

Nancy

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

What do you mean?

 

Please explain. I am desperate for a clear answer to understand what has happened to me.

 

Please help me!

Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

If he is NOT on medication, the reason he did this might be because of his bipolar.

 

Chances are - it's about something else altogether - what that would be I have no idea.

 

I am leaving my office for a few hours - so I will be back on later....

 

Bye

 

Nancy

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Well, I guess the thing that makes me suspect it was his bipolar of as a friend of mine said maybe borderline disorder, is the fact that he cut me off so suddenly and cruelly. It went from love to hate in one day. The sad thing is that he didn't even want to talk things over. He is still being mean. I tried to contact him by email and he called me old and ugly and to stay away or he would call the cops. You have to understand that this is an intelligent, caring, professional man, in his early sixties. Up until that point he had been wonderful to me. I don't believe any guy who is mentally stable would do this. I mean I have had broken relationships and arguments with men before and it was never this drastic and or this painful to me. What do you think?
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

Hi,

 

People always do better with accepting the breakup of a relationship when they focus on themselves. Because we cannot really always understand other people's thinking - it leaves us going around and around in circles. It's best not to focus on others - and focus on ourselves instead.

 

You can't control him, therefore trying to figure him out leaves you helpless.

 

But you can control you and your life - which empowers you to feel stable.

 

I know it's hard - but try, just for today - to just focus on you. What do you want to do, how do you want to feel, where do you want to go - today and in life in general.

 

Nancy

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Hi Nancy,

 

I know you're right. I know I have to focus on me and believe me, I am trying.

 

I love him.

 

Although I cannot control how he behaves or feels about me, I still love him.

 

My greatest wish is that he would come back, because I have not felt about anyone the way I feel about him in a lifetime. This has never happened to me.

 

Thank you so much for helping me. I will heed your advice and focus on myself. I was doing that before he came into my life and I was doing really well. I had just published a book and was on top of the world. Then he came along and he swept me off my feet. I have been trying to put the pieces of my heart back in my ribcage. It's as if many pieces of me are still out there.

 

 

Thank you for your kind help.

 

Customer/p>
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

You are very welcome!

 

All the best,

 

Nancy

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  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
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  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
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