There was a time, over the years, we were able to speak more openly than most people I know, and we have helped each other in times of trauma, and we have prayed together.
I think from my side I was trying to make amends, but her manner put me off. she would say " I can't talk to you before such and such a date" or she stopped opening up about her life and tried to make small talk.
When I tried to bring up subjects like why she gets emotional or hangs up the phone, she does not want to discuss it. I am trying to correct things but she wants to go on as though nothing happened. She has this 'take it or leave it' attitude about issues. Could it be I'm over-sensitive?
The other thing is the 'bullying' way she has about her. I told her we should consider ending our friendship (I guess that's not very nice...) She started screaming at me. It seems she tries to control people with her emotions.
I think the communication has broken down somehow and we are both being self-defensive. But I find that she tries to take the upper hand, and control things.
The other thing is that she brings up my weak points that I have confided in her (kind of hitting me under the belt). All this I find like invading my space while we're not having any real communication. (It sounds very complicated doesn't it?)
What is happening to me now is that I keep all of this turning in my mind and asking myself if I could have done something differently. Also asking myself why certain behavior on her side was hurting me, I should have dealt with it while it was happening. It's as though the more I was trying to fix things the worse it was getting.
So all this took my mental energy for about 4 months and I think I got depressed gradually.
Now I need to unravel all this, or put it away. In the back of my mind I keep thinking that there might be hope for a refreshed friendship (Is this a dream?).
So if you can make any sense of all this ....