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Anna
Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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I am 17 years old and I just broke up with my boyfriend two

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I am 17 years old and I just broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago and the reason for the break up was because he is so messed up mentally and he cannot handle a relationship right now. Since our break up he has made an effort to communicate with me on msn but our conversations are very brief. What is upsetting me right now is that he wrote a comment on facebook yesterday and I am trying to understand what it would mean.....

" I got an incebox where my heart used to be???"" Can you shed some light at what he is trying to communicate.

Thanks
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.
HeyCustomer It's Anna again....I tried to write another note on your last thread, but i don't know if it got to you.

If you'd like, send the link to the page in question and I'll read it and see if I get a better feel of what he's trying to communicate.

Also...do you want to get back together with him?

Are you worried that he may be trying to get back together with you and will become a problem?

Are you worried it might get really wierd?

If I know a little more background I can interpret this for you.
Expert:  Maria-Moderator replied 5 years ago.
Hello,

Thanks for your question on JustAnswer! I see that you noted in your post that you are under 18 years of age. Our Terms of Service require that all accounts be registered by adults age 18 and older.

I also noted that you have a deposit on your account. If a parent or guardian opened this account for you and allowed you to post your question, that is acceptable. However, we need the parent or guardian to call us at 1-888-JustA-20 and clearly state that they have given permission for you to ask this question, and that they are the account holder who is authorizing payment.

No one will be able to answer your question until we receive this information via telephone.

Thank you

Maria-Moderator
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Hi Anna,

 

I would like to get back with him because we had a nice relationship which lasted about five months and only the last month was difficult. In the last month we broke up three times and the last two times he kept on calling me and telling me that he was making a big mistake because he truly cares alot about me but because he is so messed up mentally he has isolated me, his friends and also his family.

 

I am not worried about getting back with him, I don't know if I can put behind the hurt I am feeling right now.

 

What do you mean about it getting really weird??

 

 

Expert:  Maria-Moderator replied 5 years ago.
Parental Permission has been granted via phone.

The Expert may continue answering.

Thank you,

Maria
Moderator
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Someone called and I gave authorization.

 

Thanks

Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.
wow...that was a lot of work!

By 'getting wierd" I meant, are you afraid he would become a stalker or not let you go, or make you uncomfortable.

How to get over him:
Don't keep thinking about him. He will pop into your head, but you can put another thought in it's place. Every time you think of him, replace the thought. You can ponder over the relationship later on when it doesn't hurt so much.

Distract yourself. Time does heal, so keep busy in any way that you can. Invent ways. Do things you don't like if that is what it takes.

Give yourself 10 minutes twice a day to sit down and concentrate on the relationship and breakup and feel the feelings. When the time is up, force yourself to move on.

Don't stalk him...don't look at his facebook page or chat with him for a solid week, and when that's over, if it worked to make you feel stronger, do it for another week.

During one of your 10 minute times, write him a short goodbye letter. Don't get all mushy.

Remember that in 5 years, you'll look back on this and be glad for the good times you had with him and also be glad that when the relationhip was over, you let it go.

You'll only marry one person in your life (hopefully), so the rest are going to be dating relationships that end. You have to go through these to get to the big one. Think forward to that.

Give yourself time, and don't isolate. Talk to people and with time the pain will heal. I recommend to stay away from any contact while you're trying to heal...you can't get over someone who you haven't left yet in your mind.

I hope this helps you. Take care of yourself and you'll feel better soon.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Hi Anna,

 

Thanks for your reply and I will try your recommendations. What I really wanted to understand in all this was the comment he added on facebook..... I got an icebox where my heart used to be......

 

Can you explain what it could possibly mean, now that you know a littl about our situation

Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.
It means that he feels like his emotions are frozen and hard. That he can't feel his feelings, he just feels cold as ice. He feels cut off from the warmth that he used to feel, but he can remember what it felt like before he froze up.

When someone is like that, they're emotionally unavailable to others.

Again, I'm sorry about your breakup and hoped this has helped you.
Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.