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Anna
Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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this is per. info.-people are phycally abusive to me pick on

Customer Question

this is per. info.-people are phycally abusive to me pick on me-call me names like queer its not fun-people beat me up evevn worse/i want to know how to stop abuse/being pick on abused/-st op getting in fights/im 37 too old for this bull....please.....advice much appreciated...m mortier
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Yes, you're too old for this bull, and you don't deserve to be abused by anyone for any reason.

The good news is that you live in Vermont, and therefor can bring in legal help. If it is the same person, you can get a restraining order and then use that to enforce a corrective action by the police for things that would go under the normal "crime" radar.

Call the police station and find out how they like to handle these situations, and then follow that path.

You can also call an abuse hotline...yes...men call them, becasue men get abused too. You'd be surprised how much longer it seems that a man will tolerate abuse...even random abuse because of the fear of being ridiculed.

I've once heard that my right to express myself ends at my fingertips, and your right to have control over your body starts with your skin.

I'm glad you reached out and aren't accepting this abuse and carrying the shame that the abusers are trying to inject into you. You don't have to do that. Let their actions speak for them, and let your pride in yourself ask for the proper protection. You deserve no less.

If you've found advice in this post, please click Accept. My best to you, and again, I'm sorry this has happened to you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
im sorry/that advice is not suffishent-im getti in fights all the time-the police could not keep up with how much it happens-should i look to mabey make verbal example of a preson-i need f**king closure my self-i dont know if striking out is good/always retalieation/im willing to talk with you as much as i can to resolve this.i dont have alot of $/anough resolve issues...thanks support...payment when satisfied
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.
What do you mean when you say you need closure on yourself?

and what do you mean when you say make a verbal example of a person>
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i need closure from my checkered past-turn a new leaf/this is very presonal-peple in my town dont resp. me-call me homosexual(not).../also involved in drugs/gangs all of these things add up....how can i teach peopel respect/without lashing out/anger/yelling at someone sometimes scares them/makes worse-somtimes only thing seems right -fight-i want to get outta-neg.pattern..to fight with out fighting?to me theres nothing worse than this shit...if that makes any sence...thanks mic
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.
I'm wondering if you need to get clean and sober and stop going to bars/places where fights are likely to break out.

When people want to turn a new leaf, they often don't understand that it means to leave the old playgrounds, playthings and playmates. I've never seen a person who was able to maintain a personality change when they didn't change all of these things. Since many people think thats impossible, they start to change them slowly...one by one. But that really drags the process out.

Then comes the questions....yes, I want to change, but I don't want to change my life....how can I just get other people to stop giving me grief about it and let me live my life without hassle. The honest answer is that you can't. You won't be getting people to treat you differently for a long time. But you can be different none the less.

I realize this is the most unpopular advice around, and it makes people mad to hear it. I've worked in jails, psychiatric institutions, half way houses, treatment centers and on a gang unit. How many people from your old way of life have sustained change and are still in contact with the adult version of the adolescent lifestyle? Not many. winning arguments with new fighting techniques is still being in an argument. What I suggest is to step down a whole new path.

The good news is: Many, many people can let go of it with support. In Narcotics Anonymous you can find others like yourself who want to let go of the wreckage of their past and move forward. You start small. Pick one thing to change about you each and every day. Find someone who's made it out of the life and find out how they did it. Move...look for a new job. Try big and small things...in yourself and in your life.

You can do this, but you won't get them to let you. Respecting yourself, your body and your life over time is the only way to get others to respect you.

Try hard and don't give up on yourself. Let this be your personal bottom and rise up from here.

Good luck in your journey!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
no hitting the nail on head/cant pay you
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.
I'm going to opt out of this question so that someone else might be able to help you.

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Anna
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Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.