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Anna
Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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hi, 2 years ago i witnessed the death of my five month nephew.

Customer Question

hi, 2 years ago i witnessed the death of my five month nephew. I I was right there when my only sister had just woke up out of bed and she said to me while walking into her bedroom "wow he must of been tired hes still sleeping". And 5 seconds later i just remember her loud stomping feet she maybe 100lbs. And the loud hollar sister NO! WHATS WRONG! and i just looked up to see my beautiful nephew with his eyes still open but his little body wasnt moving. And i remember putting my mouth to his to try cpr but when my lips touched his just how cold they were i almost passed out. He died from S.I.D.S. And i still to right now cant stop crying. not one day im not sad. What do i need to do? Hypnotherapy doesnt work. Please tell me what will.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.
How incredibly sad. This is something that you'll never forget, but you can at least stop re-living it with grief counseling and treatment for your Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Support from others who have been in your shoes makes a world of difference. Compassionate Friends is a group organized to help others work through the special grief associated with the death of a child. Here is their website link:

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Other_Pages/Sudden_Death_of_a_Child.aspx
and   http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/

Another treatment modality is EMDR for the PTSD, which is used to change the brain passageways that can become entrenched by trauma. This will explain it:

http://www.emdrtherapistnetwork.com/emdr-therapy.html

You probably already know this, but just in case, here is some info on what grief counseling actually is. The term can get thrown around alot, especially when others become uncomfortable with the topic.

http://www.deathreference.com/Gi-Ho/Grief-Counseling-and-Therapy.html

All the information aside, you're hurting and you deserve support and relief. The shock of the sudden death and the memory of your CPR attempt are haunting you and robbing you of the life you still have. I promise that you can work through this, but it's difficult. Sometimes the hardest part is to let go of the grief because it can feel disloyal, and then the child is really really gone. It's so sad.

The death of a child is so incredibly painful that there is not a word in any language that names a parent with a child who died. Not a widow or widower. We can't even put a name on it other than "the bereaved"

I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope that you can retain the precious memories of your nephew while still living the life that you have to the fullest.

If you've received advice from this post, please click Accept, and if possible, leave feedback. Thank you.

Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
Anna and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i just stop crying to say thank you. And my palms are sweaty and it feels like i cant catch my breath an my body temperature is so hot. But its just so hard he was the most adorable baby i have ever seen. And your the third person that i told what im going through and how i feel. So sorry for taking so long to accept. But the sadness i feel is what my life has felt like every since that morning. Thank you Anna. Can i try to talk to someone at a hospital?
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.
Yes...there is always someone at a hospital who specializes in helping people deal with death, and most will have a support group available for you. And the online support groups are wonderful.

There are only a select group of people who have ever seen a baby that has passed, much less touched one of the precious angels. You can honor that memory by surviving the experience in the fullest, and then perhaps even find a way to use your experience, strength and hope to help another grieving woman.

One bereaved mother told me that her life will be forever marked as either before or after her son's death, and that this was common among survivors in her group. I suspect the same will be for you, and that this can be a turning point for you to feel your grief and move through it in that adorable baby's honor.

Big warm comforing hugs to you.

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