Thanks for your interest. Let me clarify.
He went out with her a few times and told us, his parents, that she was fantastic, had everything that he wanted, and she was the ONE.
Our son has gone out with countless girls, but never was there this reaction.
Then after the sixth or so date, he told as that he had lost all feelings. I sent him to a psychologist who suggested, as Kimberly Ann that he had commitment phobia based on childhood neglect
. Nevertheless he continued going out with her.
We came to America from overseas for other reasons, but were really hoping that he would surprise us. I have been telling him for a long time - rightly or wrongly - that he must just jump and propose. He is almost thirty - which is very old to be single in our community - and although he is popular and has gone out with countless girls - the "shine" would not last forever. He resisted this.
But then when he realized that we were leaving for overseas, and wanting us very much to be part of his joy, he decided to jump.
He proposed in a very beautiful way and the girl was over the moon.
He then came and told me that he was dead inside, that it was all a show, and he couldn't care less if he never saw her again.
Nevertheless, being responsible, there was an engagement celebration, and he is doing all the right things.
I am however very concerned about his telling me that he has no feelings.
He doesn't want to break up; he just wants to have feelings. But these feelings are eluding him and making him very sad
He is concerned that he has "ruined" his life.
Although I think that the feelings will grow - he is a good guy, religious and moral, and will certainly do the right thing - I am at least a little concerned. Especially when he tells me that he is afraid that his feelings will never grow. I am concerned that he is creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I hope this helps clarify the situation and thank you for your time.