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Nancy
Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
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my partner aged 58 as gone off with a woman of 50( who I

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my partner aged 58 as gone off with a woman of 50( who I even had at my party). He hated me seeing friends and family and was secretive ,refused to talk about his day and tels lies. He is moody and hates verything except his proffessional life. H does not bother with his own children and lied over the age he was when his mother died saying he was 12 when he was 24. His sisters and father tracked him down after 30 years and he didi not even tell me. He wont do anthing for charity and tried to stop me having hobbies. Why do I still love him.He had no friends, but could be so pompous.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

Hi,

 

This is a very common for many women. We are raised to caretake wounded (people, animals, etc). So, when we come across a person who seems wounded in some way - we try to fix them.

 

Any we begin to love anything we take care of - it's how women's brain and soul are created- that's how we are biologically programmed.

 

And, like our children, we don't stop loving them because they aren't acting in normal ways...

 

Don't blame yourself feeling your natural feelings - but also know not to act on them. Just because we think or feel something doesn't mean we have to act upon it. Let him go - lovingly, but know he's just not good for you and although you care, you can't be with him. It's not good for you.

 

I hope this helps :-)

 

Nancy

 

Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience: ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
Nancy and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
does he have issues..such as why he lied about his mother's death since the beginning of our relationship or was it me. I ended up verally fighting back as life seemed to me so abnormal(not wanting family or friends). he and I had different values although he came from a middle class bacckground too. He even spoilt my sons wedding by giving me a hard time and said what an utter waste of money it was.Yet when the time came I was emotionally exhausted and he was the life and soul of the party. He has gone off witha younger woman and said I looked like an old granny.... but I dont
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.
Most likely that was just a thing he said to be mean. The ends of relationships are difficult and often, men think that to hurt someone it will make it easier to get over them.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
why di d he tell me for nine years that his mother died when he was 12 when I have just found out he was 24 and why didihe say I was lying when he was lying to her over saying he wanted to come back
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.
People who lie are usually doing it for their own gain. What did he have to gain by lying? Answer that - and you've answered your question.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
what further information do you need please
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

I don't need any further information from you - do you need anything further from me?

 

Nancy

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
just one more thing, can some people just lie and not feelany guilt especially over serious issues which affect and compromise the integrity of others. I had just treated us to a holiday in New england and then there was no sign anything was wrong. He was loving and funny. We were invited to her birthday and he didi not want to go. I brought her a present from us, it was when I said to her that i was so looking forward to his retirement and going back to bed with cups of coffee and her face fell I realised something was wrong. If I had not gone to that party he may have retired and i WOULD NEVER HAVE KNOWN. tHANKS
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

Yes, some people can lie without any regard for other people.

 

Nancy

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Nancy
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ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years