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Norman M.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2536
Experience:  ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
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If I know the right thing to do but dont do it (be eating,

Customer Question

If I know the right thing to do but don't do it (be eating, exercise, dating, etc) and its a behavioral pattern what does that tell you? Is that situation considered a condition? What's that condition's name?

Thank you
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Norman M. replied 5 years ago.
Hello PKK - welcome!

It sounds from your question as if this is a pattern which has repeated itself several times, in several areas of your life - and it tells me that you are like a lot of people out there!

It is not an unusual pattern at all, and it is one that appears in several "conditions" (if you like to use that term.)

Trying to put a label on it, quite frankly, does not matter - we can play "Where does it fit in DSM-IV" for hours, and in the end we get what - a label! Unfortunately, that does not help a great deal in itself

That said, it is common pattern of behaviour in people who have low self esteem, who are depressed, and who are afraid of change. You see, some aspects of the way we behave are quite simple really - we repeat patterns of behavior which reward us, or which help us avoid getting outside our comfort zone.

To me, it all suggests that on some level, you want to change - but are afraid to. This is probably not a conscious decision at all, but our minds sometimes work on levels of which we are unware, and that makes it doubly difficult to avoid our dilemmas.

Secondly, it is often much easier to stay where we are rather than doing what we know to be 'right', thus avoiding the risks that come with the change.

Finally, the sting in the tail may be in the last phrase of your question - "I never seem to finish what I start" - perhaps you don't have the confidence to do just that, in case it turns out wrong.

Right now, I would suggest that you seek some one-to-one help from a counselor you can trust so that you can escape the trap inwhich you find yourself at present. Take plenty of time to choose someone you are comfortable with, and ask all the questions you want to about their way of working. Your issues are unique to you, and only one-to-one therapy will resolve them for you.

All the best,
Norman.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2536
Experience: ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
Norman M. and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX am interested in how it fits into the DSM-IV, even if it migrates across multiple labels.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX am interested in how it fits into the DSM-IV, even if it migrates across multiple labels.

Expert:  Norman M. replied 5 years ago.
Now then - you HAVE put me on the spot, haven't you!

In all seriousness though, using the DSM-IV system, it is difficult to assign your condition with a great degree of certainty without a face-to-face history and evaluation. From what you said in your question, you are well aware of these personality responses which are part of you - and how they are affecting you, but bearing in mind what I have just said, I would tentatatively suggest that if these issues are causing you real-life problems (and I guess they are, otherwise you wouldn't have asked) they point ever so slightly to low scale Avoidant Personality Disorder or Anxious Personality Disorder.

I am not trying to trivialise how you feel - far from it, but I ddeply and strongly believe that the label you put on it is totally insignificant when compared to what you do about it.

I suspect that a bit of assertiveness training and some cognitive behavioural therapy would go a long way to making you a happier person. Don't wait,Customer- go for itQ



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