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Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question

Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3988
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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Dear Mr/Mrs, I have a company and I am married. I am 48

Resolved Question:

Dear Mr/Mrs,

I have a company and I am married. I am 48 years old. For the preparing of the projects for my company i was working with a girl of 27years old. The projects lasted for about 1 to 2 weeks. I fell in love with the girl and had sex with her. It was the best ever and it really fulfilled my life. She told me that she loved me too. However after 4 years beying together like this she started to work for another boss. She got sexually involved with him too and it completely blew her mind by meeting more and more men. She protected me for having contact with these men so I would not find out about her other relationships. She stayed in my house and had very strange behaviour and did lie a lot about things she did when she was out of the house. Suddenly one morning she left the house and said she needed some space. She never came back. She send an email saying she hates me know. And never wants to see me again. I still love her and feel so much pain (nervous). What to do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 5 years ago.

Hi there,

 

Welcome to Just answer !

 

I am really sorry for all the emotioal pain and scarring that you have gone through , you certainly did not deserve this , as you have tried to give your 100 percent to the relationship , but unfortunately , the female concerned here had some ulterior motives behind her getting into the relationship , probably as things stand today she used this relationship to move up the ladder professionally ,and now that she has got no use of you , so she has very conveniently moved on to someone , who will now take care of her whims and fancies., and help her to elevate her status further.

 

It is really sad though , to see you mulling over the whole situation, but i will suggest that the sooner you realize that your relationship with her was conditional and she was opportunistic enough to take advantage of you , and get her way , it will be better for you .

 

You do seem to be Depressed ,as any one in your situation will be , and so i suggest that you may consider meeting with a Clinical psychologist , and get started on Psychotherapy ( couseling ) for treating Depression . The best psychotherapy for treating depression is Cognitive behavioural therapy ( CBT), it is a short duration therapy , held in a friendly , yet professional setting . I will suggest that you go ahead with it first , by consulting a clinical psychologist , , and i am quite sure that it will not only help you to treat your depression , but will also help you to come out of your much over relationship with that woman.

 

Also, i will like to advice that apart from going to therapy , try to focus your concentration on work , your hobbies, games and sports , all in all try to deviate your mind from her , and try to move on in your life , she certainly did not deserve you , and you certainly deserve a much better , loyal and dignified woman than she ever can become. And remeber that what she has done with you and is probably doing with some other man as of now , that is betraying one 's trust and loyalty which are the essence of any relationship , she may face the same tune in her future as well ,as they say as you sow as you reap.

 

So, i suggest that you try to get started on psychotherapy as soon as possible , and try to gather your self from the broken relationship , and think ahead to a new beginning in life , and please do not fall into the trap once again , if she tries to contact you again after a while and looks to give an apology to you and wants you to take her back in your life , please do not fall for this trap , as she has very well made her intentions very clear and from now on you should not trust her intentions.

 

I wish you all the best , and take care.. God bless..

 

I hope my answer serves your query according to your satisfaction.

 

Please press the ACCEPT button if you are satisfied with the answer as only then will i be credited for my service.

 

Regards..

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Dear Dr. Kaushik,

 

I am satisfied with your answer however if i have some further questions the coming days about the situation (it is very complex for me) how can I contact you and how do you remember my case?

 

Kind regards,

Paul

Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 5 years ago.

Well, you can post a question , referring my name on the psychiatry forum , i will definitely attend to it , and there is a client history which the expert can gain access to it , and any ways i have a tendency to remember the people i talk to , you may just give me a lead and we can take it from there .

 

And i again suggest that just try to refrain yourself from dwelling on it any further , and i am here for your help , plus try to take initiative in meeting up wth a psychologist , i am quite sure it will help.

 

Take care ..God bless..

 

Regards..

Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3988
Experience: MD Psychiatry
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