I am so sorry you are going through this -- but you are on your way to feeling completely better soon...
The first thing you have to do is realize that the suicidal thoughts are simply a neurochemical process. We know this as an absolute certaintly because when people get on the right meds - the thoughts disppear).
So, when a suicidal thought pops into your head either imagine a STOP sign or just stop youself and remind youself that the thoughts are simply biochemical in nature and will soon go away.
You can also ask youself at that time of the thoughts coming into your head, if you really want to die, or you just want the pain and symptoms to go away - surely you have hope or else you would not have gone to the lengths of seeing a new doctor and taking the meds everyday (YAY for you!!!!! by the way).
Lastly, you can treat these thoughts as though you would treat a child who is throwing a tantrum. If you have ever been around or seen a child lying on the ground, yelling, crying -- imagine your suicidal thoughts as doing that -- and just simply tell that tantruming child that you understand - and that it will be okay - that you are the adult and you are taking care of it.
One of these should work for you (sometimes people are very visual and like the idea of imagining thoughts as children). Give all of them a try, no matter how silly they seem.
And... let me know what worked!
Is there anything else I can help with?
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX explanation helps. I am a psych nurse for adolecents which I think make me feel like a weak person and a phony. I haven't tried anything harmful in 15 years, which is also scary for me. Right now I think I have worn myself out stressing about this and can suddenly hardly stay awake- which is a good thing. So hopefully tomorrow will be different.
Yes, it will. Keep your spirits up - know that this will pass and don't be hard on yourself - you are not weak - this is an illness that needs to be treated. You are doing the right thing!
Feel free to check back in and let me know how you are feeling.
Nancy- thank you for your reply. Today has been rough, but I was able to leave a message with the psychiatrist. Hopefully he will call back soon. Meanwhile trying to stay focused at work:) I am going to try telling the thoughts to go away and calm down, especially since they seem like they are not coming from me (I know this is not true).Thank you for your caring words.
You are welcome! There will be rough days and easy days -- it's all part of the process.
Keep in touch - let me know how you are doing, okay?
Hi, I just read your reply. Starting to feel better finally this evening. just wondering what is your e-mail. Won't bother you too often as I am sure you are very busy, but you seem like a very nice person. Nice to have someone to talk to this week. That is one of my issues is that I don't feel like I have close enough friends to talk about this stuff with and that in itself really helps.. Well thank you, XXXXX XXXXX the positive feedback. Than I have to get to my homework. I am actually taking abnormal psychology for my BSN and writing a paper on bipolar disorder. How Ironic!
YAY! I am so happy you are starting to feel better! To reach me, just fill out a question request to Just Answer's Psychiatry section :-) I am always here!
Have you considered a support group?
Support group. Went to one in my early 20's. Full time work, part time school, 2 kids age 6 and 14 (older has mild MR and a life threatening lung disease) don't have time! Besides, be hard to pick one since apparently I am really screwed up and have ADD, GAD, Bipolar 2, and borderline. Whew! No stress either! You don't need to reply to this one, just thought I would answer your last question.
Kathy (in IL)
You sound busy! Okay - keep in touch!