It really sounds like you and your family have been through a lot in trying to help your son and manage his disruptive behaviors. Based on what you've said about him, I'm wondering if he might have adult ADHD. When adults have ADHD they show many of the kinds of symptoms that you've described in your son- disrupted/odd sleep patterns, difficulty with authority, aggression (particularly during younger years), some depression/anxiety, problems with motivation, etc. I'm pasting a link below to a website that has more information on adult ADHD:
If, after reading some of this information, you agree that this might fit your son, I would suggest making an appointment with a psychologist for further assessment and diagnosis. Once a formal diagnosis is made, the psychologist can work with your son to develop a treatment plan- this usually includes some therapy as well as some medication.