Welcome to Just answer !
I can understand that you are emotionally drained and hurt , because of such an unexpected traumatic situation in your life , but first of all i will like to request you to refrain yourself from taking any hasty decision ,and stop thinking about self harm. You are indeed suffering from Major depressive disorder
( MDD ) , as you are harboring suicidal thoughts which are characteristic of MDD, and this warrants immediate attention by a professional.
So, i will request you to consult a psychiatrist , and discuss with him the treatment regime that i am mentioning below and get started on it.
1) 1 Anti depressant such as Venlafaxine extended release capsule or Paroxetine or Sertraline. Any one of the mentioned three is to be chosen and to be started , discuss the dose and time of intake of the chosen drug with your doctor.
2) 1 Mood stabilizer such as Valproate or divalproax , in low dose is to be added to anti depressant , this will prevent suicidal ideas / thoughts from entering in your mind , and also will prevent mood fluctuations .
So, i summarize the drugs that you need to be started on 1 Anti depressant and 1 mood stabilizer , the doses and time of intake needed to be decided by your psychiatrist.
Now , as far as your wife's strange behaviour is concerned , which is putting strains on your marriage , and pushing it to a dark corner , i feel that you and your wife need to consult a marriage counselor , if she does not want to attend the counseling session with you, then , you both can meet the counselor individually also, but it will be better if both of you attend the counseling session together . And , it seems like your wife is too much dependent on her mother and i think she may be having dependent personality , but her assessment for dependent personality type by a psychologist shall be left for later , as right now you need to save your marriage , so first and foremost get an appointment with a marriage counselor and get started on it . And simultaneously , you shall consult a psychiatrist and get started on the regime mentioned above.
I wish that your depression gets treated soon , and your married life comes back on track and your wife starts giving you your due importance ,love and care . All the best!
I hope my answer serves our query according to your satisfaction.
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