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Nancy
Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience:  ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
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can mild sex abuse {boy to boy} have any impact on ones sexu

Resolved Question:

can mild sex abuse {boy to boy} have any impact on ones sexuality as a adult. i fatasize about sex acts with men does that meen i am gay
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

Hi runabout,

 

Sexual abuse does effect a child's thoughts, feelings and behaviors about sex, but that does not mean you are gay.

 

Sexual abuse causes a child to relive the abuse in their head. It repeats over and over, and since sexual images are arousing, it can be confused with having simple sexual fantasies.

 

Sexual attraction toward other men is an indication that someone is gay, but since you have been sexually abused-- you have to keep that in mind.

 

There is nothing wrong with being gay. Being gay is a biological function of the brain; it is not a choice, it is just an attraction toward men, by men. If you do find you are gay - and you feel you need to talk to someone, find a gay therapist to help you with the issues you will face. But DON'T get down on yourself or think there is anything wrong.

 

Okay?

 

And, email ME back at ANY TIME!!!! I am always here for you!

 

Nancy

Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience: ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
Nancy and 4 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
thank you for you're answer. i am just so confused, about the fantasise i mean because i check out women all the time and like what i see. i don't really check out men i mean like there looks. i do like checking out c-o-c-k-s not there asses or any thing else. just performing oral sex and anal sex and stuff. i couldn't cuddle with a man a women yes. i have had a girl friend living with me and i would sometimes prefer do go fantasize and masturbate by myself. i have even got caught that doesn't go over to good especially when there right in bedroom. i also prematurely ejaculate very easy i mean a couple of min. is long time maybe little longer if i don't move much. don't really have to worry about that with a man.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
sorry about the acept thing i did acept but i did'nt know how it works. i have to run erands for brother. i will wait to here back from you one more time before i have to go. could you leave times that are good for you i would like to talk to you again.
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

Sorry -- I'll answer again tomorrow!

 

Nancy

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
thank you if you could let me know when youre' online would be a help looking forward to reading you're answer tomorow. by the way did youget my accept last time. i dont think i did it wright last time.
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

Thanks for your patience!

 

I am back online and we can continue to talk about this. One thing I want you to be clear of though, is the impact that sexual abuse has on young people; it plays over and over in a person's mind - but because it is arousing, it can be confused with being an arousing fantasy - but is not. It is a process of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

 

Have you ever been to counseling regarding the sexual abuse?

 

Nancy

Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience: ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
Nancy and 4 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i eould like to know how this shows on bill i got abill from jbill or somthing like that was that this place
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
{this is for XXXXX XXXXX} i feel she does as she says have expertise in this field in regards XXXXX XXXXX answer. the part you said about going over and over the sex abuse and or act. i don't find my self ever really thinking about it at all unless brought up in situation like this so that does confuse me as to whether or not i am gay. {and no i have not been to see who ever it is that you would see for this mind boggling state.
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

If you have been sexually abused, you will have sexual thoughts about other men.

 

If you are sexually attracted to men, you are gay.

 

Do you see the difference?

 

Nancy

Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience: ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
Nancy and 4 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i do see it a little clearer now THANK YOU. How ever if the thoughts don't go over and over {i probably underestimated that it does enter my mind i just don't know to what extent or how often.}do my extensive fantasizing and attraction to performing oral sex on a man and anal sex with a man.is this the sexual attraction you are talking about being gay i mean.out in public walking around work play or what ever i don't see my self with any desire to check out men.i will admit however acute girl {lady}with a nice figure cute ass stuff like that ill be checking out every women around inconspicously of course i mean there's nothing nicer than checking out a woman from behind chunky or not that always depends on other things front back.hope this was not to lengthy i have hard time explaining myself in a brief way.{not good with words and how to get the meaning out with as little words as possible.
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

I think what happens to you is that when you were abused - it may have sexually aroused you at some point - which is normal (although not good you were abused).

 

Now, in your normal realm of fantasizing, you imagine men.

 

But in your day to day life, you are attracted to women.

 

Nancy

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i don't know if u got last mess. i did not see it post but my question was what info do you need and i did mention i am getting comfortable enough to answer ANY question m you may like to ask if you think that it would be helpful ask away
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.
Like I said earlier --

I think what happens to you is that when you were abused - it may have sexually aroused you at some point - which is normal (although not good you were abused).

 

Now, in your normal realm of fantasizing, you imagine men.

 

But in your day to day life, you are attracted to women.

 

 

Does that answer your question?

 

Nancy :-)

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: I still need help.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
YES!.realist i hit the button accidentally. Still need help actually i probably Do. As much help as you have been i am hard to make happy i all ways have to have a 100% under standing. I always come up a few percent short. slow learner! A-D-D! lack of intelligence! or just picky!!!! I'm not sure what makes me that way. Of course that's why I'm writing to you the under standing of ones self can be confusing for me.I would like to add that you have opened my eyes on the psychological part.{i would have never seen things the way i do know} So i will say THANK YOU!.As far as the aerosol part i never thought i was.Is it possible to have been getting some sort of aerosol and yet not reeling it at that time. I could go on and on with questions on {PTSD} and advice on the whole subject.But i would go broke {I'm like a low income dude}I would pay more happily if i had it you are definitely worth it.{any advice on like were to go from here books you may recommend i like self help books and that {PTSD}thing sounds like a book all by itself.I will be looking forward to your reply perhaps talking more about it if you wish to.again i hate to sound repetitive but i would just like to say thank very much i would have never thought phsycologically the impact it would have and the role it plays you have opened my eyes to a lot of helpful info.looking forward to talking to you soon.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
by the way you had a info request last time what info do you need!any thing that may help you, i have been very very satisfide whith and i cant THANK YOU enough.
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

Hi,

 

I am so happy to hear that my answer has helped you.

 

What I want to suggest is that you seek ongoing help from a local professional. ALthough we are all experts here at Just Answer - we cannot do ongoing counseling. This serviceis designed jsut for questions and answers.

 

To find a local professional, look in your local Yellow Pages under "Counselor"- look for someone who specializes in Sexual Abuse. There are always professionals who will work with people for a low cost or even free of charge.

 

Good luck!

 

Nancy

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
OK this sounds like there is no more info needed i guess i got a little to long winded last time i think.But ongoing counseling i can under stand why you experts cant do that. you were just so insightful and a pleasure to work with. well I'm grabbing the yellow pages wright now.i hope if there's any other question on this subject or any other{psychological} i can ask you.well of to the yellow pages.thanks again
i never quit understood the info request thing, no questions ever came back to me.thanks for the GOOD LUCK!






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