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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1763
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I am the only daughter, granddaughter, and sister in my family.

Customer Question

I am the only daughter, granddaughter, and sister in my family. Mom passed away over 10 years ago. To make a long story short, I get torn down from different members of my family. I have made mistakes in my life, everyone has, and they won't let me live it down. I got an opportunity to go back to school, got a better job, and make a decent living. My kids also went on to college, and they each have graduated. But no matter what I do, it does not seem like I can ever overcome things in my past with them, I don't understand why. Everything I do comes in to question. My grandmother is 94 years old, and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, I tried all I could do to help, and I realize now, that she does not want my help. And even in her illness, she is just as cruel. My brothers, dad, all treat me as some wild animal with no feelings. What should I do.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi and welcome,
You are right, we all make mistakes and for people to hold you to your past and demean you is wrong. You have done all the right things to move forward but in spite of your success your "toxic" family won't acknowledge you. Have you ever considered going into therapy? In therapy you will learn why you have put up with this all these years. You will be able to separate the cruelness out and learn to be happy taking care of you and yours, not anyone else. It's sad that people treat other this way but in families this happens. Being the only girl you may have been a perfect target since you always came back for more poor treatment by them. You can overcome the past with them. You need therapy to help you stand up for yourself and find out if a relationship with them is even possible. Take care of you, that is the first and foremost task. I always tell people not to take things personally and that's a hard thing for most. Once you learn to do that, it gets easier. You have spunk, you have overcome earlier adversity, gone back to school, got a good job etc. you do not need this type of familly abuse. Don't allow it. Therapy will teach you how.
I hope this is helpful.
Dr. Keane