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Nancy
Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience:  ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
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My granddaughter is 16. her parents went through a contentious

Customer Question

My granddaughter is 16. her parents went through a contentious divorce when she and her sister were very young. The mother remarried 5 years ago.   They have a son together who is 4 years old. For the past 4 years my granddaughter has   been having anxiety attacks, has hung around with a worthless crowd, has had very little to do with our side of the family. Her grades in school have been good, however her behavior has been erratic. She lies pretty much about everything. She has been seeing a psychiatrist for the past 6 months.   I am staying down south for the winter. Last weekend she broke into my condo, invited 12 friends and partied. She and her buddies drank the liquor from my cabinet, smoked (not pot) left the house in general disarray. the next day my daughter in law found the mess. When my son went to pick up his daughter to clean up,she had swallowed a handful of pills. she was released from the hospital that day. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HER? DOES SHE BEAR RESPONSIBILT
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

HelloCustomer

 

Your granddaughter's behavior suggests she is in need of either individual counseling or treatment in a residential facility. Teenagers who act out like this are rebelling against something - typically the environment in which they are living. This behavior *always* comes from something -- it is never "random" or for no reason. Teens act out their feelings - you can tell what their life is like bu how they behave. It sounds out of control to me.

 

As to what her thoughts and feelings are - it seems that she is mirroring disrespect. When teens feel disrespected, they behave that way.

 

Of course she is responsible for her behavior, but it's time for a parent to really step-up and either put her in weekly individual counseling with someone who specializes in teen delinquency, or find a residential treatment program for her for awhile - they teach all the things kids need to know to do better in their life.

 

The psychiatrist has a diagnosis ... do you know what that is? That will tell you if he/she is treating Jess for Depression, or Bipolar (or what ever their evaluation concluded).

 

This is clearly on unhappy child. If anything, she needs someone who can give her unconditional support... I hope that can be you. Speak with her and tell her that her behavior is upsetting, but she, as a person is very much loved, and that you want to be there to help her in any way you can. Maybe she will open up to you.

 

I wish you the best of luck,

 

XXXXX XXXXX

Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience: ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
Nancy and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
tHANK YOU FOR HELP. i DO BELIEVE THAT SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH JUVENILE DEPRESSION.sHE HAS BEEN SEEING A PSYCHIATRIST FOR THE PAST 6 MONTHS, HOWEVER SHE HAS MISSED APPOINTMENTS ALONG THE WAY. hER FAMILY HAS BRAINWASHED BOTH DAUGHTERS ALL ALONG..i CANNOT APPROACH HER IN THE MANNER THAT YOU SUGGEST...iS SHE TOO EMBARRASSED TO EVER REACH OUT?
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

I don't know if she's too embarrased to reach out, but why can't you approach her?

 

Nancy

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Re my granddaughter Jess. She has stated that she doesn't want to have anything to do with our family. I donot want to impose myself on her. Her family has been brainwashing her for 13 years, so anything I might say will not have an impact on her. She would not have done what she did if she had any feeling for my husband or myself. I just wanted to know what was inside of her head... It is a very difficult situation....My gut feeling is to wait for her to make the first move.
Expert:  Nancy replied 5 years ago.

Oh, I see. That makes it more understandable. I agree, wait for her... it may take some time, but she may come around.

 

Nancy

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