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Nancy
Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience:  ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
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Ive been married going on 15 years and I have a 7 year old

Customer Question

I've been married going on 15 years and I have a 7 year old daughter and a 3 month old daughter. My husband has always had a lot of female friends which has affected our marriage. I put up with until I realized that he was going out to lunch with them talking with them at work and lying to me. On December 27, 2006, he met a young lady at a club when he went out with his friends and January 15, 2007 he bought a cellphone with her. After confronting him he admitted it and said he was sorry and that he had gotten rid of the phone. That same year he went online and met a young lady trying to hook up with her and then he sent a letter to an ex-girlfriend stating that he wanted to be with her. The stress of all of this has lead me to yell at my daughter to the point it's messing up her self-esteem. I know real love doesn't hurt and I have tried to correct things that I needed to correct in the relationship. But if I stay my daughters will suffer especially my oldest daughter.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Nancy replied 7 years ago.

HiCustomer

 

It seems like you are the only one working to keep this relationship going and in that process your daughter is getting really hurt.

 

He is making it clear that he is going to cheat no matter what you do. If you can live with that-- then do, but don't take it out on your daughter -- that is your choice to be in the relationship; she has no choice but to be in a relationship with you... right?

 

Low self esteem leads to depression, anxiety, poor self image, and trouble with interpersonal relationships.

 

If you want to stay in the relationship, it sounds as though you already know that you need to find a way to not hurt your daughter in the process. You may want to consider counseling. That might help you to make a choie that will work for all of you.

 

Nancy

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