It sounds like you are having a difficult time. I am so sorry -- but the good news is that there is help.
What you'll need to do, is get to that doctor! I'd recommend a Psychiatrist -- as your type of issues are exactly what they are trained for! You need an evaluation and when you get that, the doctor may recommend some counsling or medications to make all of your uncomfortable feelings more manageable.
I know it's very, very difficult for you, but you need to go see them. You may want to ask a friend, pastor, or family member to bring you, to make sure you get there okay, and do know that your feelings of fear do not have to define you -- you can learn to accept them as just HUGE, overwhelming feelings-- but they don't have to stop you from doing what you need to do, like seeing a psychiatrist.