Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online
I will start by saying that everyone is different, and nobody can really tell you what is going on with him, but him. But.... that being said, I don't think the two options you've listed are all this could be; I suspect that he grew up in either an abusive home or at the very least, a home where his needs weren't met. I say this because his behavior seems more like a way of managing intimacy.
It also seems like a poor way of managing depression -- it he perhaps bipolar? That would maybe make a bit more sense.
Is he on medication? If not, would he consider it? At the very least, he may need an evaluation to find out if this is bipolar -- it could be that his depressive lows are so low that he really cannot be with someone -- and can be with someone when he is either "normal" or manic.
What do you think?
sorry to bother you again may i just ask should i stay and be there for him, or if he is depressed should i leave him alone to work it out himself?
You are welcome. I would think that if he was doing something proactive to make it better in the long run-- like getting on medication, or going for therapy/counseling, then you can feel safe in knowing that he (and the relationship) will get better -- and these breakups will eventually stop.
But if he just plans on doing nothing-- and nothing will change, you have to decide if you want to be in a relationship where he keeps breaking up with you.