Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
I am so sorry you are going throught this... but there is help, if it helps for you to know.
The first place you want to start is with a therapist or counselor. Search around to find someone who specializes in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD.
PTSD is the ongoing effect of REAL trauma. Nobody develops dreams and flashbacks without having experienced a traumatic event. If nothing had happened, then you wouldn't have this now -- having this is PROOF you were molested. SO stop doubting yourself... it's real.
But you need treatment. This won't go away on it's own. If you can, google "PTSD Psychologist" and then also write in your city and state (or country; I don't know where you are) Call local referral hotlines, call doctors-- do whatever you can to find someone who specializes in this area -- if you can't, let me know I can help too.
FInally, stop cutting and stop drinking. Cutting only hurts you -- you don't need to add to your pain. It doesn't make it all go away -- treatment will. Drinking only makes it worse-- alcohol is a depressant -- you don't need that. You need hope -- and help. SO start looking NOW. And let me know what else I can do. I am here for you.
You be there for you too.
When you are ready -- you will do it. And you can receive treatment without your parents. And Mom can stay in your life. Whatever it is that you want, you can make it happen. You just have to believe that you can effect change in your life. And, you can!
When you are ready, you will do it.