Thank you very much for your help. It has been of great assistance, in as much as clarifying that what we were thinking was correct, and how to deal with it. We told him last night that the end of the line had been reached, and he either asked for treatment or he packed his bags and left!
Of course there was a lot of shouting and arguing. He said that we were dealing with this in the wrong way, and he was already cutting back himself, and we should leave him to deal with it, and that if we "sorted out" his other problems, he wouldn't have the stress or need to smoke.
However, he spent most of last evening out trying to score!! and of course this was our fault, as we were causing his stress!
He has asked me to go with him to his appointment so that he can prove that he doesn;t have a problem, and that it is us that need help! He said if he could get a job, and we were more tolerant of him, the smoking would stop! I have told him that he has to call to make an appointment today, as soon as he gets up.
Our other son stood at the top of the stairs whilst all this was going on, and said the whole conversation was totally absurd, and that he was trying to load us with guilt. He also suggested that we should go into his room when he wasn't there, and remove all the paraphanalia. We did do this once before, and he said it was an invasion of his privacy. He has always denied smoking in the house but there are a lot of telltale signs.Do you think we should do this?