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Well, i am really sorry to know about your present scenario, i believe your doctor is just over reacting, as .05 mg xanax , though can cause addiction and abuse , but is too low a dose that can be used to peddle , plus your doctor perfectly knows that you suffer from anxiety , and such a person who is having anxiety will like to do anyting to keep off from the horrible feeling, and this idea of peddling the drug will never cross the patient's mind.
However, i suggest that you once again try and coax your doctor to give you prescription ,as this was an honest mistake and also make him realize that you need his help ,and the reason which you cited was quite reasonable . But, if he does not give in to your request , then it does not leave you any other option but to seek help from another doctor , as xanax , being a benzodiazapine , cannot be sold over the counter because of its tendency for abuse.
Also, i would suggest that , it will be better for you to seek help from a psychologist and get started on Psychotherapy ( counseling) for your anxiety disorder. The best psychotherapy for an anxiety disorder is Cognitive Behavioural therapy (CBT), it is a short course therapy , will take place in form of 1 hr session , once a week, and can be altered according to your convenience , as you said that the nearest psychologist is 2 hrs away, but the positive outcome will be , that you can entirely give up the use of anti anxiety drugs , as you have moderate anxiety , for which CBT is as effective a treatment as drug therapy.
I wish you best of health.
I hope my answer serves your query according to your satisfaction.
I've tried Zoloft and Lexapro, but they did not seem to help.
Why wouldn't the meds show up on the drug test? I feel like my doctor doesn't trust me now.