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Kimistry40
Kimistry40,
Category: Mental Health
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I feel that my husband has an addiction problem. Since January

Customer Question

I feel that my husband has an addiction problem. Since January 1st of this year he has been gone 7 nights out of 9. He says that he is going to watch a game at a friends house then he comes in at 1:2 or 2am. When I check his cell phone he has text to his friends about playing cards. He lies to me but when I asked him to stop because he is unemployed and we do not have that much money he got upset with me and told me that I do not support him and that he is going through alot and that I make his decisions easy everyday. That was right before Christmas he then told me that he was planing on getting me a present for christmas but because i asked him not to play poker on that email he was not going to buy me a present so he played poker with the money and lost most of it. I did not get a present. I am getting tired of his lies and I do not want my girls to think that this is what a marraige is like. He puts the blame soely on me. what should i do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kimistry40 replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-How long have you been married?

 

-How long has he had this problem?

-Why isn't he working?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

-What are your ages? I am 44 and He is 40

 

-How long have you been married? we have been married for 17 years

 

-How long has he had this problem?it started 2 years ago and gradually got worse. he plays poker on line when he is home then we watches if on tv. He only has friends that play poker so they have become more important to him than we have.

Why isn't he working? He was laid of in August along with 91 other regional managers. He has tried to get a job but no one is hiring.

Expert:  Kimistry40 replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

Thank you for answering my questions and now I asdk that you be patient while I type my answers to your question. Thank you in advance for your patience.

Expert:  Kimistry40 replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

Gambling is more common among men, gambling addiction is a loss of control over gambling and a need to feel rush of gambling. Your husband is showing signs of addiction which is characterized by an endless need to gamble more often and betting more and more money and the inability to stop just to avoid feeling unhappy. This can exhibit itself in any behavior which ruins your life either physically, mentally, emotionally or financially. Your husband may be in denial over gambling addiction and refuses to seek professional help. If he refuses to get help it will take him hitting bottom before he will even consider like knowing that he may lose his family, usually when the wife says that she will leave if things do not change or they make the family lose everything including the house, you don't want to wait for that to happen though. One of the most major signs of addiction is if he is always thinking about and preparing for gambling sessions, trying to keep playing higher stakes to win back lost money only to lose even more money, avoiding home, using gambling to escape from stress.

 

They often neglect their family and other responsibilities and favor betting over investing quality time in their relationships. Your husband is an escape gambler he uses gambling to escape many aspect of his life. The gambling usually starts when they reach 30 or older. They feel free of emotional and physical pain when gambling because they are avoiding stress and conflicts at home or work. Gambling addictions can get help through successful treatment programs like individual professional counseling and group therapy. It can involve many prevention programs like educating the gambler and their family, intensive individual therapy, group therapy, thorough relapse prevention and practical budget planning. You may need to give him an ultimatum to either get the help that he needs or you will consider separation that may be your only option if he refuses to get help or doesn't feel he has a problem. You may need to even consider marriage counselor to help you to communicate better and get back to the point where you will be able to trust him not to gamble and they can help him to realize that his family should come first before anything else.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
What i was told is what i have been reading so there was nothing new it felt as it was written from a book. I did not learn anything. sorry
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I feel like I have been taken with this program. I am not very pleased with the answers. I would like my money back. I will contact Paypal tonight.

Expert:  Kimistry40 replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

There is no reason to contact paypal I will have your question closed for you, and you will not be charged the money you paid. Would you like to try another relationship expert?

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
No

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