How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question

Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4053
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
9385906
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Kaushik is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am not able to move on in my life five years after my wife

Customer Question

I am not able to move on in my life five years after my wife divorced me. What strategies do I need to seek out to remove my fantasies of reconcilliation, which she vehemently opposes, from my daily thoughts and living?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 5 years ago.

Hi there,

 

Welcome to Just Answer !

 

The every detail that you have mentioned about how hard you have tried to get over the separation from your Ex wife, just shows how much you still love her and miss her in your life. What is really bothering is that it has been 5 years since your breakup , but still you harbor the thoughts of reconciliation , despite her disapproval on a number of occasions. She definitely has moved on in life, and now it is high time that you also come out of this phase which i would associate with depression as you are just doing your daily duties without interest , initiative and are unable to feel pleasure in previously pleasurable activities, plus the long duration for which you have stayed like this, go more in favour of Depression.

 

And please take note that , in depression you enter in a vicious circle , in which no matter how hard you try to come out of a particular thought or situation , you end up thinking or immersing more in it , to the extent of becoming hopeless and helpless.

 

As you have mentioned that you have tried dating , reading self help books, tying to keep job and spending time with your kids, all these account for positive signs and surely will help you in coming out of your present state.

 

But as of now , what you need is Professional help in the form of Psychotherapy ( Counseling in lay terms), which is offered by a clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist.

Right now , i would suggest you to consult a clinical psychologist and get started on Psychotherapy such as Cognitive therapy, Interpersonal therapy ,these are a few effective therapies which help in depression. I would first want you to go through counseling , without the use of anti depressants , which may be used if the psychotherapy proves of little use , which i feel will not happen.

 

Besides, meeting with the therapist, you continue to meet new people as i am sure there is someone really special waiting for you , and this time around when you go out on a date , please try not to compare your date with your ex wife and do not let the conversation shift to your feelings for ex wife, as no one would want to get involved with someone who still lives in the past and is failing to acknowledge the present. Believe me if your ex wife wanted you back in her life she would have done it long time back , but that did not happen, So, the early you learn to consider her as your past , the earlier you will fall in love all over again.

 

I hope my answer serves your query according to your satisfaction.

 

Regards...

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education