How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Carol Kryder LMFT Your Own Question
Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 808
Experience:  APA Board Certified, Diplomate,Substance Abuse Professional, 20 years family therapy experience
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Carol Kryder LMFT is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My 3 year old son has been going through potty training for

This answer was rated:

My 3 year old son has been going through potty training for well over 6 months and had it down, almost. Recently however, he has started to regress and has been wetting his pants a couple of times a day. This has caused me much frustration because he is ruining things like the carpet and the couch covers. I believe it's because he's acting out for some reason. Can you lend some advice?
Hello and thanks for using

I am sorry to have to tell you that I believe your child is acting out precisely because you and his mother are in disagreement about his potty training. Small children are amazingly perceptive regarding conflict between parents and when it is about them, they tend to take it very personally. In this case, your child has more power in the family than either of his parents and this must stop.

It is of utmost importance that you and your wife come to an agreement about how to potty train this child. The method is not nearly as important as the agreement. If you are at a stalemate, I suggest you go with the philosophy of the person who spends the most time with the child in a 24 hour period. I suggest that you immediately be as matter of fact as possible about his potty habits. Explain to him what the "rule" is and then implement that rule with as little emotion as possible. You may try a "Potty chart" and give him a sticker or a happy face when he goes, but ignore the "accidents." He is old enough to change his pants, though, and I would make that one of the consequences, when he wets himself.

This is bigger than either one of you being right, this is about the welfare of your child in ways that you may not even imagine. Please speak with your wife today and come to an agreement on this issue.

Let me know if you have further questions or if you need clarification on anything I have said.

Carol Kryder LMFT and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.



Thank you for your timely response and also, Happy New Year.

I plan to accept your advice as difficult as it will be for me to ignore his "accidents". My wife and I will come to an agreement for the best interest of our son; I guess I'll just have to let this issue go, as much as it bugs me. But it will be her method, so she will have to clean the messes. LOL


Different topic; I hate to even ask this of you because I feel I am taking advantage of this system and of you, but do you do any online counseling for war vets? I have access to help through the military, but am afraid that it will affect my career. AND, I really don't want to see any counselors in person.

If not, then maybe some advice on a direction to go in??


Thank You,



Actually, you can try "Give an Hour" which is a free service to military folks (and thank you for your service). Give an Hour is a group of mental health professionals volunteering their time to help military families with emotional and relationship issues. You can contact them through this link:"

You can also check my website at:
Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Thank You! That web site is just what I need right now.


God Bless You!

My pleasure.

Related Mental Health Questions