DearCustomer I can see how your are feeling helpless. My first reaction to your post and what is most striking to me is that you have been seeing a therapist for 13 years and after describing the symptoms that you mentioned he still feels that you are okay?! If this is the case, I would strongly recommend sharing your frustration with your present therapist and then getting a consult/second opinion. You describe that you are on disability for Major Depression and PTSD. Most, if not all, of your symptoms seem to fit in with that diagnosis. It seems to me that you had this diagnosis for some time and recently the symptoms resurfaced and have been getting worse. I would suggest that you seek out another therapist and get an extensive evaluation. I know that starting over with a new therapist after seeing your therapist for such a long time may be really difficult, but I believe that it is crucial towards your recovery. The fact that you made this post shows your strength and will to recover and this will also be crucial in your recovery!
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Best of Luck, Levi Breuer, M.S.