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Lively, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 260
Experience:  Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, 10 years experience working with individuals, couples, & families
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Please can you help me. I find myself destroying my relationship

Customer Question

Please can you help me. I find myself destroying my relationship with my partner of 12 years. I have become paranoid and unreasonable, to the point where I have been checking his phone and email accounts. Last week I accused hom of cheating on me with my best friend and went on a what only could be discribed as a violent rampage. I can't remember doing this but I smashed bottles and threatened him. I suppose I just saw red. He has never given me any reason not to believe him and has only ever been honest with me. I never talk about my problems and when things get on top of me I just explode. Any one who knows me would describe me as overly happy and dont't know how anyone could be so cheerful all the time but then I just explode sometimes. I don't know where to turn, I need to get help. Whats wrong with me?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Lively replied 7 years ago.

Have you ever had explosive rages like this in other relationships? Have you had the mood swings for a long period of time- how old were you when this started? Do you have any family history of bipolar disorder or any other mood disorder? Some of your symptoms sound consistent with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder but you would need to do a really thorough evaluation in order to accurately make this diagnosis. If it is bipolar disorder, there are lots of medications available to help stabilize mood and most people find that, once their moods are more stable, relationships are more stable and happier too.

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Hi I'am 26 years of age and never been in any other long term relationships. I met my partner when I was 14 and have been with him ever since. We have a 9 year old daughter together. I don't think I have any family history of bipolar, but I have had what can only be discribed as a bumpy childhood. With a history of violence and ups and downs when growing up. I actualy met my other hald while in womans aid with my Mum sister and brother. So I don't know if this would be any reason for it.

I have a very outspoken family who like to tell you how to live your life and I always feel compelled to please other people, even if its not what makes me happy.

I find it difficult to express how I'm feeling and then explode when things get on top of me.

I don't really like admitting that I need help and will never ask for it, but I know I do. I have had about 3 violent episodes in the past 12 years, and as far as I'm concerned 3 too many.

How do I go about obtaining help??

Expert:  Lively replied 7 years ago.
I don't know how the mental health system works in Ireland, but in the US you can search either online or in a phone book for local phone numbers of psychologists. Once you have phone numbers for a few people you can call and leave messages and/or set up meetings. It's really important that you find someone you like as this will help you feel comfortable opening up about what's going on for you, so don't feel like you have to stick with the first person you meet if you don't feel comfortable. Once you get started meeting with someone you and (s)he can talk about what you need to help you get back on track.

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