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JR, M.A.
JR, M.A., Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 184
Experience:  I have a master's degree in clinical psychology and am currently finishing my doctoral degree.
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my daughter is 23 and she has been having anger out bursts

Customer Question

my daughter is 23 and she has been having anger out bursts toward her mother and any one who trys to entervean, a little mom history,she is a persciption drug abuser off and on for her whole life not constant but with some mild to severe situations ,daughter has exsperianced at pre teen age finding mom overdosed and unconcous having to get a neighbor for help, this happend 2 to 3 times also repeating it self 2 to 3 more time as young teen I was preasant on some of these overdoses and it went on in to her young adult age to agin mom would have sober time too any where from 1 weekto 6 mounth s to a year and so on daughter has been in theripy for 4 mounths or so the anger episodes seem to be a direct resolt of the drug abuse be unable to cope with having a mom then having a addict and back and forth my consern is the anger bursts are getting worse daughter is on wellbutrin and abilify Iknow this is alot to advise on and might need more than one responce please advise me on how to proceed.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Age: 53; Male, California

Already Tried:
having my wife leave for 4 weeks to get clean ,during that time daughter was for the most part anger free ,my wife has been in many 30 day program and mental hospitols
Expert:  JR, M.A. replied 7 years ago.

I am concerned about the fact that your daughter is on wellbutrin (many young people respond in a negative way to this medication) and abilify. It sounds as though she really needs intensive therapy to cope with her mother's problem. The medication may be contributing to some of this unpredictable anger. She should continue taking the medication until her doctor tells her to stop taking it, but I might suggest having another evaluation done by another psychiatrist. I'm just skeptical of wellbutrin based on my professional experience. Additionally, I'm uncomfortable with the use of abilify in this situation, but again, she needs to consult with her psychiatrist or find another psychiatrist. What she really needs is good quality therapy that will help her to express her anger. If she only gets really angry when mom is around, you need to do everything you can to keep your daughter away from her. It makes sense that your daughter would become very angry at her mother. Your daughter is having a hard time making sense of the dichotomy of "good mom" and "evil mom." It is evoking a great deal of anger and instability in her mood. I suggest that you keep them apart.

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.

she had some mean streeks with freinds at age 9 and it seems that the anger started at around late teens 19or 20 when she had issues with something she would take off for a drive to cool down or get away from the situation around 21 she start testing alcohol and and got 2 duis, wreak and totaled 5 cars with in 1week of each other, during those times she had boy freinds that one said she was yelling at him at the end of there relationship.she met a new boy freind and was with him awile until as she put it he cheted on her she thrashed the inside of his house, now she has a new boy freind that she was living with for 4 mounths that she met at around 19 at the time they were like siblings and we help the young man and gave him a place to live for awile and also gave him a job in my bussiness witch worked out good for a bit, had to fire him do to cocain use during that time they where just freinds .now they are together and living in my garage.she has her lisences back and is going to dui classes where she gets counsiling too befor the duis she was in trade school for the medical field.doing well it seemed she started alot of partying around that time but she said she had it all befor the duis new car career boyfreind freinds ect now as i said she is living in my garage with here boy freind they both have cars and are looking for jobs not agressivly my daughter said she thinks she need to get her anger problem under control first i agree the latest burst ended up with her hiting her mom and kicking hiting the barbocue resulting in poss fratured hand and poss brooken toe and saying things like i hope you die iwant to kill you to her mom and after i got her under control she said iwouldnt do that but im not sure when she is in that state she could control her self it seems exstreem to me like its not her and maybe the meds as you say are a good bit of the problem, also imay add that the boy she is living with in the garage with have blow outs that triger the same behavore with him mabe drugs that he did = the same feeling about the drugs her mom is getting off of. when we talk about seeing the psychologist she said she has not told her about the burst after the last episode she wouldnt go to the doc because she was wored she would be put in some institution psy ward ect. itold her that from the symton she was having to the meds and the normal state of mind being stable more than not that as you said needs more therapy /counsuling than in pateint programs she knows that what is going on is not right that she should have control of her self sorry for all the miss spelled words im not agood speller also I am going to accept the answer just wanted to give bigger picture so you could respound again im sure things are not in exsact order but some what close.

Expert:  JR, M.A. replied 7 years ago.

Ok, this picture is getting more convoluted. Your daughter's behavior is very extreme, even given her anger at her mother. She has a right to be angry at her mom, but she should not be reacting that way. When I first answered, I did not realize how extreme her behavior had become. Your daughter sounds like she may have borderline personality disorder. Her emotional instability is exacerbated by being around her mother. I know you are in a tough spot here, but if it were me, I would not allow my daughter to live in the garage if she acted this way. She could actually be quite dangerous, especially when she loses emotional control. Your daughter needs intensive therapy and she needs to stay away from her mother. There is no easy answer to this problem. She will most likely continue to struggle with this type of behavior until she really commits to treatment, even if it means going in a hospital.

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.

do you think she is still using the wrong meds well butren and abilify if so could they be adding to the problem.What meds would you recommend ? I looked up borderline personality disorder and found that at least 80% of the data seem to fit the mould it seems that almost all the symptoms were would go about telling her about this. After the last burst I was able to get her to admit she has a condition but wasn't sure what it was at the time ,now with your help and a little reserch I think were on the right track.Maybe there is a good way to start the convesation with her she for the most part she has respect for me and always calls me or comes to me when she is under extreme emotions for direction and or comfort or just to be listen to 50% of the time I can help calm her down and sometimes not Ihave to show up to intervein Im glade I found this site and your exspert opition I would like to get a little more advise and would be g;lad to pay thank you david

Expert:  JR, M.A. replied 7 years ago.
Hi David,

I definitely think you are on the right track now; however, I don't believe borderline personality disorder is particularly amenable to psychoactive medication. Now, wellbutrin may help with her mood, but the extreme mood swings are still present. Abilify is an atypical anti-psychotic medication used to treat a number of serious mental disorders. I think that she probably needs to be on an anti-psychotic medication because it may help maintain her sense of self-preservation. Persons with BPD tend to experience extremes in emotion that could result in cutting and/or attempting suicide, or other dangerous self-harm behaviors. For example, substance abuse, dangerous sexual practices, impulsive spending. The problem is that BPD is not purely a neurochemical illness. She will need intensive therapy to learn to control her emotions and to stabilize her self image. There is no easy way to broach this subject. She may overreact and see you as the new enemy, however, she seems to trust you. Perhaps you can use this little bit of influence to encourage her to get some treatment for BPD. There is a form of treatment called "Dialectical Behavior Therapy," which she would greatly benefit from. You might have to do some searching and asking for referrals, but I think DBT would be very helpful for her. DBT can help her to control some of her reactions and to learn to ignore negative impulses. At this point, I would recommend you talk to your daughter about DBT and maybe do some research on DBT on the internet before talking to her so you are informed.

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