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Dr. Ravoof
Dr. Ravoof, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 2432
Experience:  Experienced Physician in the field of Medicine and Surgery.
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The irony of my condition seems to be a weird brain block

Customer Question

The irony of my condition seems to be a weird brain block that prevents me from acting on things I am well aware are in my best interest. Making this question out of character for me these last 5+ years..... I will act fast in another person's best interest but never my own... Some days that includes avoiding social contact, avoiding help when offered, and avoiding doing much of everything and anything. The thing that gets me is that there is a wall that comes down over my desire for any forward momentum.A long history of hope and hard earned progress becoming stolen from me then my carcass being dragged through the pits of hell, me finding the strength to rebuild and go on, clawing back to the surface only to have my fingers stomped on by someone above plummeting me back down again has, I believe, given me a powerful distrust in happiness... I have periodic suicidal fantasies.. Some days I desperately wish something could kill me in a way that won't damage my parents. I think they sense that too because on occasion when I don't answer phone calls my mom gets excessively worried and sends my father to break into my apartment to check that I'm not rotting in a corner with a dried brown stain under each of my wrists. I would never off myself.... I love my folks too much... Perhaps a cancer or a weird rare deadly disease could occur... And I wouldn't complain. And hey... If rare enough, my legacy will be an entry in a medical textbook... Just so long as they give the disease a cool name.I recognize there is a problem, I think I have a grasp on it, and yet I cannot seem to be able to even allow myself the attempt to repair myself anymore... This includes even having the ambition to walk out to a psychiatrist.And that brings me to you...This is clearly the least I can do to look for help.Any recommendations?Is there some sort of miraculous drug I'm unaware of that can kick start my hope and ambition again?.. So far the best I've found is excessive distraction. But it only masks while I'm distracted... My dark thought factory filled with Les Miserables peasants keeps churning out buckets of bile while my attention is elsewhere, only forcing me to take it in a higher dose once I get back to consuming it again.... Kind of a really dark version of that I Love Lucy chocolate factory sketch.Anyhow..... Diagnosis doc?
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: Medical
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Feels nobody wants to touch this mess. Lol
Expert:  Dr. Ravoof replied 6 months ago.

Dear customer,

Thanks for your question.

Yes there are medications and even psychotherapy that will immensely benefit you. First you need to answer a questionnaire given by your doctor to know whether you are suffering from depression or an anxiety disorder. Also you are lacking self compassion. I would recommend that you read the below book to know more about self compassion:

http://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Path-Self-Compassion-Yourself-Destructive/dp/1593859759?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

Take care.