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She may benefit to see her gynecologist. At age 90 she probably has vaginal atrophy. This condition might benefit from Premarin cream. I agree with your attempts to take things very gradually...
Hopefully you two will be able to enjoy some sexual enjoyment between the two of you as well as a rich overall relationship!
I hope that this is helpful for you! Let me know if I may be of further help. Let me know if you have further questions. I will be happy to get back with you. Best Regards!
Anthony Bray MD