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Doctor Chip
Doctor Chip, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
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Experience:  20 yrs practice, surgery, general medicine, addiction medicine, pain
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My brother is a person that shows no emotion when someone very close to him

Customer Question

My brother is a person that shows no emotion when someone very close to him dies. His wife died at 44, father died 3 yrs ago, and just recently in Novemeber his son died at 22.
But, still he has shown no emotion.
His son had many problems, but he seemed relieved after his son died.
It was like his problem had been solved.
There is definetly something wrong with him, I just don't understand what it could be.
I am leaning towards the fact that he has no conscience.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  Doctor Chip replied 3 years ago.
How did his son die? Has he shown emotion at other times of his life? And what would you consider the proper show of emotions over grief of the loss of a loved one?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi wife died of a rare form of breast cancer at 44. Not once did he show any emotion. Not once did he shed a tear. It was like it never bothered him. My Dad died 3 years ago and everyone in the family cried except him. Being the oldest son we asked him to speak and said no. He didn't care. He has two kids. One is a daughter that is 27 and his son who just died of an heroin overdoze was 22. His son has had emotional problems since his mother died. My brother just didn't care about his son. In fact, he dropped his son off at the age of 14 with my father and mother who at the time where 78 and 73. His son had a emotional and anger issues, but he just never cared and wanted do anything for him. When he died in November, my brother seemed relieved. He was talking and laughing at the funeral. He seemed relieved that his son was gone.

I know there is something wrong with him because his daughter show the same characteristics. She also did not cry when her Mother and Brother died. My brother has some sort of disorder and I need to know where to start. My first guess is that he has no conscience. He has shown this his whole life. He just doesn't care what happens to other people.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He has never shown any emotion his whole life. Growing up, he always teased us to the point of crying which he seemed to love. He always felt pleasure in other peoples pain.
Expert:  Doctor Chip replied 3 years ago.
Probably not a conscience problem--he's probably not a bad or immoral person. But he may have a personality disorder--either asocial or dissociative. He needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist or psychologist to determine that, and counseling can be somewhat helpful here.
Expert:  Doctor Chip replied 3 years ago.
Other questions--I notice you didn't accept my answer?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I googled both asocial and dissociative and neither one is even close. My brother is very intelligent, did not have any traumas growing up, or anything like that. He just shows no emotion and does not care about anyone else but himself. When your wife dies, your father dies, and your 22 year old son dies and not once do you show any emotion and frankly you act like it doesn't bother you and you seemed relieved, to me, you have an emotional disorder. You have to feel something. That is what I'm looking for. "personality disorder--either asocial or dissociative" is not what I'm looking for.
Expert:  Doctor Chip replied 3 years ago.
OK--don't take this the wrong way, but, since you're not a psychologist, looking up definitions on the web can be problematic, since even psychiatrists will tell you that the DSM-IV, the "bible" of descriptions of mental disorders and their diagnosis, doesn't always help with coming up with an exact diagnosis for a given patient. I'm limited here by not being able to talk to your brother myself, and I only suggested those two types of personality disorders--there are others, and, of course there are other types of disorders that are not listed as personality disorders. Let me ask you this--are you having a hard time considering the possibility that your brother does indeed have a diagnosable disorder that may not be his fault, in other words, is it easier for you to assume he's just a heartless and perhaps cruel individual?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

That is the point. I'm hoping he is not heartless and cruel, but I'm beggining to think after all this years that he may have something wrong with him that makes him heartless and is causing him to be cruel. He has always been cruel, but I thought he did it to make himself laugh. I know people who have lost a child and they cry for years.

My brother never even tried to help his son with his emotions, his anger, or his drug habit which eventually killed him at 22. What it comes down to si that he just doesn't care and now his daughter is just like him. Neither one cares about anyone else but themselves. Does he show traits of being psycopath? Not a killer or anything like that. I just don't unerstand who he can be so emotionaless (???) (not sure how to spell that or even if it is a word). I just want to know and then I will accept your answer is; What is a person called who shows no emotion and doesn't care about anyone else but himself?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I'm waiting for an answer to my last reply.

 

Expert:  Doctor Chip replied 3 years ago.
OK--first, let me quote you a bit of the professional description of an antisocial personality disorder patient: Apparent lack of remorse or empathy for others, cruelty to animals, persistent lying or stealing, a history of childhood contact disorders, agressive behavior, violating the boundaries and rights of others, just to mention some characteristics. Not knowing your brother and just going on your description, it does sound a bit like him, does it not? Anyway, I know you're concerned about him, but, so long as he is responsible in life and not getting into any problems at work, legally, or socially, then there's little to do about this except, perhaps, have him evaluated by a professional, but these patients rarely admit (perhaps they're truly unable to see it) that they have a problem.
Doctor Chip, Board Certified Physician
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 23434
Experience: 20 yrs practice, surgery, general medicine, addiction medicine, pain
Doctor Chip and 8 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

On the nosey. Apparent lack of remorse or empathy for others, cruelty to animals, persistent lying or stealing, a history of childhood contact disorders, agressive behavior, violating the boundaries and rights of others, just to mention some characteristics.

 

You are correct. Thank you and have a good day. I will accept.

Expert:  Doctor Chip replied 3 years ago.
Thank you

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