You should be able to reset your password XXXXX the site: http://iforgot.apple.com/
and it sounds as though this is the one you are using.
If you can't pull up your Apple ID using the info above BUT you currently have purchased music in iTunes on your computer then you may be able to see the ID; To view this information, simply select any purchased song in iTunes and press Command-I or choose "Get Info" from the File menu. Then in the Summary tab of the window that appears (this should be the default tab), you should see the name / Apple ID listed.
Once you have the Apple ID and the password, test out that it is working properly by signing into the Apple ID management site:https://appleid.apple.com/
(Click "Manage Your Apple ID")
If you have successfully reset your password XXXXX still can not log in, you may have another issue. In this case, you will have to contact Apple via their Express Lane customer service feature to ask them to investigate the reason for your disabled account:https://expresslane.apple.com/
Choose the correct category and issue as prompted by the service above and you will eventually reach a web form where Apple promises to respond within 24 hours. If you need a suggestion for which support path to follow, try:
iTunes > iTunes Store > Account Management > Managing or editing an Apple ID > Email
As an alternative, if you do not wish to handle it online, you can try calling this number: 1-800-676-2775. Ask if they can verify you as the owner of the account for the purposes of resetting the password.