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I am sorry to read about this.
The answer is NO. You should not pay. If she sues you, it is likely that the Court would rule in your favor.
You agreed on a neutral color that would compliment both houses. Then she changed it to only a color that would match her own house. She cannot expect you to pay when she pulled that kind of a stunt.
Let her go and sue. Make sure you file your answer to the lawsuit and bring the text message from her confirming the color to be white.
Goodluck with your case,