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If your mobility deteriorates, will you be able to hire someone to come in and help with care?
Are they talking about filing for a legal guardianship?
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Ok, then the way to circumvent the family is for you to go ahead and file for a formal legal guardianship for wife through the local probate courts. This is what the family would have to do to be able to take her away and put her in some type of care without your consent.
So if you beat them to the punch and get appointed guardian, then they wouldn't have any legal power to do anything without your approval.
You would need to contact a local family law or elder law attorney to assist with filing the guardianship action..