Good morning Kimberly,
I'm Doug, and I'm very sorry to hear of your situation. My goal is to provide you with excellent service today. I have been a CA licensed attorney for more than 30 years.
This seems like a very crucial matter for you, and your questions and issues suggest that an in-depth conversation might best suit your needs. If you are interested, for a very nominal charge I can offer you a personal phone conference as opposed to continuing in this question and answer thread which is searchable and viewable by the public.
Let me know if you don't want a call and I will be happy continue here with an answer for you.
Either way, whether I call you or not, in order to give you a clear and concise answer, I will need some additional information about the circumstances, please.
1. Is your father incompetent, as established by his physician, such that your springing POA is not active?
2. Do you also have a separate Durable POA for your father?
3. What property of his is it that you seek to collect from the marital residence? Is this marital property or his person property by reason of being owned before marriage, or something he inherited?
4. What is his wife's objection to you taking some of his things? What sort of things is she refusing to allow you to take?
Thanks in advance,