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First, if she is staying at your property without permission, you should have the right to evict her (even if she doesn't pay rent, if she's lived there for a few months, the law should consider her a tenant). Also, your son should inform child services of her activities and have them get involved to keep her away from the children and to give your son custody (at least temporarily).
Also, your son can seek a restraining order against her to stop contact and to keep her away.
No one should be afraid of being held hostage in their own home and these children need to be protected. Thus, if you and your son take these actions, it should be possible to provide some protection for you and your family.