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Good afternoon. I am Loren, a licensed attorney, and I look forward to assisting you. I am sorry to hear of your dilemma. I realize how frustrating this is for you and I hope to provide you information which is accurate and useful, even though it may not be the news you were hoping to get.
Unfortunately, under TN law when you divorce it creates the legal effect of voiding your ex-spouse for any policies in which you would be paid for their death.
Typically this would apply to policies owned by your husband, but it can be applied to policies owned by you, as well.
In any event, try having your attorney send them a letter demanding the benefits and see if the back down and pay them out. If they do not, take the refund, but it is worth a couple hundred dollars in legal fees to see if they will back down.
I realize this is probably not the answer you were hoping to receive. Also, please remember that this is not a moral judgement on my part. As a professional, however, I am sometimes placed in the position of having to deliver news which is not favorable to a customer's legal position, but accurately reflects their position under the law. I hate it, but it happens and I only ask that you not penalize me with a bad or poor rating for having to deliver less than favorable news.