Good afternoon Kerry,
I'm Doug, and I'm very sorry to hear of your situation. My goal is to provide you with excellent service today.
FMLA recognizes same sex marriages for federally mandated FMLA benefits because the US has ruled same sex marriages to be legal in all 50 states now.
Federal law has never recognized the right of common law marriage if the state where the marriage was to have occurred does not recognize it. Consequently, there is no way to convert your relationship to a recognizable marriage under federal law unless the state where you claim to have been common law married allowed common law marriage at the time.
So for example, if you have been common law married under Colorado law and moved to Nebraska, the Nebraska employer would have to grant you FMLA leave because CO---where you celebrate the marriage allowed for common law marriage.
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I wish you and yours the best in 2016,